Rude Boss

“I hear you, man.”

The women’s giggles erupt and catch the attention of the men at the bar. Billy turns around and looks at them. He looks back at me and says, “Looks like you got yourself a fan club over there.”

“There’re plenty of other men here for them to look at. They’re probably eyeing you up, Billy.”

“Don’t think so. These women are looking for the boss types with deep pockets. My pockets are so narrow, the little pieces of lint are looking for a new place to live.”

I smirk. “It ain’t that bad, is it?”

“Bruh, most of these old men up in here leave five-dollar tips and think they’re doing me a favor. This is an upscale bar. I’m supposed to make upscale tips.”

“That’s true.”

The women are loud and laughing again. I glance over at them. It’s becoming an annoyance at this point.

Billy says, “Shoot your shot, my man.”

“I don’t need to shoot anything. There’s nothing in here for me.”

“Obviously, there is. They’ve been sweating you since you sat down.”

I shake my head. “If I was broke, overweight and ugly, which one of those women over there would give me the time of day?”

Billy turns around, checks them out and says, “None of ‘em.”

“You’re correct, my friend. None of them.” I toss back the rest of the cognac. Billy refills my glass immediately. I say, “I used to be that guy once upon a time.”

“What guy?”

“The broke, overweight, ugly guy.”

“No way.”

“I have the pictures to prove it, but that’s the old me. Here’s the question of the year—why would I want any of these women up in here when I know they only want me for what I have?”

“You don’t know that, man. You’re making assumptions.”

“No, I’m not. I see these same women in here leaving with different men often. I’m not about to be one of them.”

“But they’re fine, though, man. You can’t deny that. So what if they’re interested because they know you’re loaded? Isn’t that the point of obtaining wealth? It affords you access to these extraordinary women who us regular men don’t have access to.”

I shake my head. “I’m curious. Why do you think they’re extraordinary?”

Billy grins. “What do you think? Their looks. Their body. These women have amazing bodies, man.”

I say, “A woman should have more to offer a man than her body, and a man shouldn’t be so shallow to want a woman because she has a pretty face and a nice body.”

Wiping the bar top, Billy says, “You’re right, you are, but unfortunately, that’s the way it is out here in these streets. Men make the money and women are expected to be exceptionally beautiful. It’s an exchange.”

“To each his own. I’m just saying I’m not feeding into the nonsense.”

Billy throws a black towel over his left shoulder. “This is interesting.”

“What is?”

“This conversation. You have it all, and you’re telling me you’re not going to hand pick the perfect woman for yourself. A woman to give you children—beautiful children.”

“I have one in mind already.”