Flaming

Wait. A bouquet of flowers? “Jonatho?”

“These are for you,” he says, giving the bouquet a wiggle before stepping into the room and letting the door shut behind him. He comes up to Zakary and hands him the flowers. “I know you aren’t really supposed to give them ‘til the end of the show …”

“But you saw me floundering onstage like a fish out of its comfy pond and thought I could use some encouragement.” Zakary buries his nose in the bright and colorful bouquet. They smell like a dream.

Jonatho takes a seat in the chair next to him and pulls it up close. “Is that what you think you are?”

Zakary lifts his face from the flowers. “What?”

“A little fish in the big pond of New York City? Let me tell you something, Zak, if I may be so bold.” He puts a finger under Zakary’s chin, directing their eyes to connect. “I know little fish. You aren’t one.”

“Is that a tall-person joke?”

“The truth is, we’ll always hit these walls where the world seems impossibly big, full of people more worthy or more talented than ourselves. They might be bolder. Or handsomer. Prettier. Cleverer. Louder. But within each of us, there’s a light, and when you believe in yourself, that light grows. Zakary, you can let it shine so damned bright if you wanted, it could blind the whole rest of the world.”

“You sound like you’re reading from a self-help book.”

“Nope. This is coming straight from my big self-important head. Well, that and I had a brainstorming session this morning with my agent regarding my next play. I … might be a bit overly dramatic.”

Zakary brightens up. “Really? So you’re going ahead with your musical idea?”

“Hey, hey, don’t you change the subject. We are talking about you and that light inside of you, sweet cheeks.” Jonatho takes hold of Zakary’s hands. “All I’m trying to say is: I believe in you. Now you need to believe in yourself. You’re a big, big fish, Zak. Maybe the biggest this city’s ever seen.”

“Still sounds like a tall-guy joke.”

Jonatho lunges forward and takes Zakary’s lips with his own. The act is so surprising, Zakary lifts his eyebrows halfway up his forehead. Then he settles into the much-needed kiss, feeling his heart surge with happiness and hope. Jonatho always brings him right home with kisses like these.

He’s been bringing him home for the whole past year now. They share a modest loft apartment that is located surprisingly close to the theater district, just within reach of anywhere they’d need to be. So many days have felt like a dream, waking up next to sweet and caring Jonatho’s side, taking walks around the city and in the neighboring parks, feeling the creative spirit grow and thrive all around them. It’s another world here at the heart of Broadway, a world that is vastly different from his safe, cozy space in Texas. He has had more than his fair share of doubts and fears about uprooting his life and relocating here.

The one thing that has kept him feeling sure and happy with his decision is the man whose eyes he’s peering into now.

“Ready for the second act?”

Zakary finds himself smiling, the flames of his doubts suffocated to mere wisps of nothing. “I am now,” he answers with a lift of his chin.

An hour later when the curtain drops at the conclusion of the play, Zakary and his partner are met with a standing ovation.

Tears of happiness fill Zakary’s eyes as he takes his bow, overwhelmed by the reception.

The emotion swelling in his chest after his stellar performance is nothing compared to the after party, when members of the Theatre community join them at a favorite bar to celebrate all their success. When Zakary first moved here, Jonatho had to nudge him into these social situations, since he was as awkward as they came. Now, Zakary feels like a pro, greeting, thanking, and schmoozing with people who share his love for the craft. Two directors approach him about two different projects, one which would come with a sizeable stipend. Later, he gets lost in conversation with an actor who just finished a run of a show in an off-Broadway theater and wanted to see what the fuss was all about with this new student-produced debut play—and the tall, flame-haired lead actor that has the community abuzz. It all nearly seems too good to be true, from the reception, to the praise, to the explosion of opportunities.

Is this when it’s finally going to happen? Is his career about to take off beyond his wildest dreams?

“Well, even if your career does take off beyond your wildest dreams,” says Jonatho when they’re back in the apartment winding down after the party, “what are you afraid of? You deserve this.” He pours the two of them drinks.