Just One Look (Castleton Hearts)

The weather was cooler outside, and I was relieved. I probably should have stayed for dinner, but I didn’t want to impose on Alivia any more than I already had, so I went back to the Grille. All the servers knew me by now. I spotted Esme at the bar and waved at her. I wasn’t feeling like sitting there and having to chat with some old fisherman, so I stayed at my little table on the restaurant side.

Tonight, I was feeling comfort food so I had the spaghetti and meatballs with a Caesar salad.

My house was looking more and more house-like every day. The upstairs was basically done, except for furniture and decorations, and the kitchen appliances were in and the cabinets would be here soon. When I’d originally walked through the house, I’d thought about tearing out the floors, but then realized that they were beautiful original wood and that if they were refinished, they’d look incredible. I was happy with that choice.

Mom sent me a message to call her when I had the chance, so I did, and showed her the updates in the kitchen.

“Oh, it looks so good. I can’t wait for you to make me dinner,” she said.

“I will. This is really going to inspire me to learn how to cook,” I said. I’d even ordered some classic cookbooks to decorate the space and also to learn from.

“Learn how to make a Maine lobster roll. That’s all I want,” she said.

“I will,” I promised. She told me more about her upcoming trip with Dad, and that she’d recently started volunteering at the hospital. Dad popped in to show me one of his new watercolor paintings.

“I made it for you,” he said. “I referenced the lighthouse in Castleton.”

My eyes welled up with tears. Dad wasn’t a hugely demonstrative guy, but this meant a lot.

“Thanks, Dad,” I said, wiping my eyes.

“I’ll get it framed and bring it up when we see you. I don’t want it to break if we ship it.”

I blew my nose. “I would love that.”

The painting would go perfectly in the living room, and I could use the colors to decorate the rest of the room. I’d been so lost trying to figure out what I wanted to do with each space.

The idea of theming the cottage toward the ocean and toward a more coastal vibe really appealed to me. I just didn’t want to put in a ton of work and then hate it a year from now and need to change it. That was my nightmare.

“I’m happy to come up and go shopping with you,” Mom said.

“I know. But I really need to do this myself,” I said. I couldn’t explain why I felt so responsible for making this cottage perfect. It was to honor Memma, yes, but also…I wanted it for me, too.

“I understand,” Mom said. “Memma would be so proud of you, you know.”

I tried not to cry again. “I know. But it helps to hear it.”

I got a message on Saturday from Em’s wife, Natalie. I was guessing Paige had given her my number.

Hey, I hope this isn’t weird, but I wanted to reach out and let you know that I’m happy to have you come shadow me if you want. Em told me about your career exploration.

That was so nice of her.

I’d love that, I responded.

Perfect. You can also see what my boss, Piper does, as well as her fiancée, McKenna.

A houseful of entrepreneurs, which sounded really fun.

Natalie said she would check with Piper and get back to me about which day would work the next week.

I thought about the people I’d already shadowed and knew that none of their jobs were for me. The virtual assistant thing sounded interesting, but wouldn’t that be like having a boss again? My time would still sort of be dictated by someone else. If I needed money, I would probably consider it, but since I didn’t, I wasn’t going to settle. I could hear Memma’s voice in my head telling me not to have regrets. So I wrote down the things I did like about each job, and then the things I didn’t.

My poor vision board was still pretty empty in terms of career aspirations, but I did feel like I was getting closer. My perfect career was out there, and I was going to find it.

That weekend I decided to take a little road trip away from Castleton, just sort of driving wherever the wind took me. One thing I really did want to do with my time was explore this beautiful state.

I ended up in another seaside town that was a lot like Castleton but felt a lot fancier. All of the shops had spectacular window displays and there were a lot of expensive cars parked on either side of the street. You could just smell the wealth in the air.