“So we’re not going to talk about you getting weird just now,” I said.
“Nope,” she said.
“Fine, then I’m out of here.” I stood up and was completely ready to storm out, but I turned back around.
“Friends talk about things, Theo. I know you’re one of those people that closes up like a scared clam when you get anywhere close to any kind of feeling you don’t like. I know we haven’t known each other that long, but if you can’t trust me even a little, then I don’t see the point. I’m not going to beg for you to be my friend. I have standards.”
I trembled a little as I finished. I wasn’t used to giving those kind of speeches to anyone.
Theo was quiet for a long time and the more time passed, the worse I felt until I couldn’t stop the tears. I didn’t even know why I was crying, it just sort of happened.
“Kendra,” Theo said in a soft voice as she got up and came over to me.
“I’m not crying,” I said, sniffing, even as I wiped tears from my cheeks. Crying when I was mad was one of my most embarrassing traits. I hated it so much. Plus, I couldn’t even say why I was so mad at her.
“It’s okay,” Theo said, putting both hands on my cheeks and using her thumbs to wipe my tears. “Shit.”
“I’m fine,” I said. Theo grabbed a tissue and handed it to me. I tried to blow my nose without being too loud or gross.
“Shit,” she said again. “I’m sorry. I know I get…how I get. I’ve never been really good with emotions. I do, as you said, clam up. My brother is the same way. So are my parents. We weren’t one of those open families where you talked about shit. So I guess I learned to bottle everything up, and now I’m an adult and I don’t really know how to be different.”
Her hands were still on my face, her thumbs stroking my cheeks. Those calluses were…distracting.
“You’re so sweet and open and it freaks me out, Kendra. You scare the shit out of me,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry,” I said automatically.
“Don’t be,” she said again, her voice low.
I waited. I waited for her to kiss me, for her to tell me to leave, for her to pretend that nothing was happening between us. It was an effort not to hold my breath.
“You should…” she trailed off.
“I should what?” My voice felt too loud.
Theo closed her eyes, as if looking at me was too much.
“You should go, princess,” she said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because my thoughts about you right now are not very friendly,” she said, her eyes opening.
“What thoughts might those be?” I asked.
Theo exhaled slowly.
“Right now, my thoughts are very focused on your mouth.”
All of a sudden, my lips felt dry. I wish I’d put on some lip balm or something.
“My mouth?” I asked to make sure I’d heard her. One of her thumbs moved from my cheek and gently touched my bottom lip. I inhaled sharply and she made a low sound on her throat.
“Friends can kiss each other,” I said. “There’s no rule about it or anything.”
Theo smiled gently. “What a relief. I wouldn’t want to break any of the rules of friendship.”
“Are you? Going to break it?” I asked. If she didn’t kiss me in the next ten seconds, I was going to combust.
“Yes,” she said, removing her thumb and then her lips were on mine and finally.
Theo was finally kissing me, and it was everything. Her lips were soft but urgent and she wasn’t a gentle kisser, but I didn’t expect her to be. Theo invaded my senses and stole my breath and dominated my mouth. Her tongue licked the seam of my lips, demanding entry, and I welcomed her in, stroking her tongue with mine as she continued to take control of the kiss.
My head spun and I lost all coherent thought. Nothing existed beyond this kiss. Beyond me and Theo.
I gasped for oxygen and I heard her chuckle low in her throat.
“Remember to breathe,” she whispered against my lips.
“You’re not making it easy,” I said, my words muffled by her mouth. Theo pulled back with little nipping kisses on my lips and my eyes opened, finding her right there, our noses almost touching.
“I should yell at you more often,” I said, and she smiled, pressing her forehead to mine.
“I didn’t mean to kiss you, but I’m not sorry about it,” she said.
“You’re not?” I asked.
“No. But I do need to talk to you.”
It was like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over my head.
“Okay,” I said, even though all I could feel was dread about what she was going to tell me.
“Let’s sit down,” she said, leading me to the couch.
Theo sat next to me, and I could tell she was nervous.