The needy, frantic expression on her face turns to a thoughtful one as I cup her small breast. She’s not built heavily here, the small mounds barely more than suggestions when she’s flat on her back, but I like everything about her body. Her nipples are tight and perky, a deeper shade of red than the rest of her, and I stroke my thumb over one of them.
She sucks in a breath. “Okay, I liked that.”
“You’re sure?” I slide my thumb over her nipple again.
Helen makes another one of those hungry whimpers, squirming in the bed. “Yes. Yes, I like it.” She bites her lip and then turns her head in a silent invitation, showing me her ear again. “Will you touch me here, too?”
As if I can resist? I kiss my way back over to her ear and then drag my tongue over that sensitive spot. Helen moans, her fingers clenching in my hair as she holds me to her neck. I focus in on that sweet spot, and as I do, I tease her nipple, rolling it back and forth against my thumb. She whimpers and responds delightfully, twisting underneath me as pleasure moves through her, and I continue to lap at that spot behind her ear, determined to make her feel good.
I pinch her nipple, and Helen cries out, her back arching. “Wait! Wait, wait wait.”
Some part of me expected that to happen. I’m not surprised. Sex can be overwhelming, and I remember how it felt when I was younger. Kef, I’m thinking about how it felt ten minutes ago when Helen tried to kiss the tip of my cock and I lost control. I lift my head and pull my hand away. “Are you all right, sweetheart?”
She’s panting, her gaze frantic. Her eyes are dilated and dark with pleasure, but she doesn’t look happy. “Something’s wrong. We’re doing it wrong.” For a moment, she looks as if she’s about to cry. “I don’t understand.”
“Shh,” I murmur, leaning in and kissing her worried mouth. “It’s all right. I’m here. Tell me what feels wrong and we’ll fix it, all right?”
“I just…I don’t know. It feels good—really good—and then it feels like too much.” Helen bites her lip. “Like I need to run away or else everything inside of me is going to break apart.”
I’m utterly dumbfounded. What she’s describing is…normal. That’s what a good orgasm is supposed to feel like, and you chase it until you explode. “Helen…have you ever tried following that feeling? When it feels like too much? Do you ever just keep going?”
She shakes her head at me, her expression full of concern.
Okay, then she’s never made herself come. This is…a lot. I knew Helen was innocent, but after watching the vids she’s been talking about, I thought for sure that she would have done so. I lean in and kiss her again. “Helen, that’s what it’s supposed to feel like. Is it painful? Or just tense?”
She thinks for a moment. “Tense. Scary.”
“Like you’re racing toward the edge of a cliff?” When she nods, I continue. “That’s how it’s going to feel. You chase that sensation, even when it starts to become too much, because it overwhelms you and then that’s when the magic happens. It really does feel good. I promise. But we can finish for tonight.” I press a kiss to the tip of her nose. I’m throbbing with a low pleasure in my body. Now that I’ve come, my cock is desperately trying to rise to the occasion again—thanks to Helen’s nearness—but I can stop and it won’t be painful. More than anything, I want Helen to feel comfortable as we move forward. “Remember I said we can go as slow as we need to.”
Helen chews on her lip, her expression pensive. “You’re sure that’s how it’s supposed to go?”
“Positive.”
“And if it gets to be too much nothing, like, bursts inside me?”
“No. Remember in the vids when the woman starts crying out? That’s because she’s coming. She’s feeling that tension like you did.”
Now she gives me a distrustful look. “But you said the vids were all playacting.”
“Some of it is. Some of it is real. They just make it all seem like a lot more to the viewer. You’ll understand it more when you experience it. We’ll finish some other time, I promise.”
Helen grabs my hand and plants it on her breast again. “I trust you, Mathiras. Show me how to come?”
CHAPTER 42
MATHIRAS
She’s killing me, this beautiful, perfect, fearless creature. She’s worried about what her body is doing and yet still wants me to touch her because she trusts what I say more than her own instincts.
I kiss her again, humbled, and lick at her tentative tongue. How am I so lucky that Helen has set her sights on me? I’m the uninteresting brother, the staid one, the sour one, the one that wears responsibility like a cloak. I’m not fun like Adiron or exciting like Kaspar. I’m the overthinker. But somehow Helen has decided that she wants me.