“You are here,” I said unnecessarily.
“I wanted to surprise you.”
“I am surprised,” I said, laughing nervously.
I motioned toward our balcony. “Why don’t we sit outside? The weather’s still nice.”
Clifford glanced at Santino then nodded. “Sounds like a good idea.”
Just like Clifford, I was eager to get away from Santino who looked ready to kill my fiancé. And not just that, I felt strangely guilty toward Santino. As if I were cheating on him by talking to Clifford when it should be the other way around.
“You don’t look happy. Am I interrupting anything?” Clifford asked with a glance toward Santino as we sank down on the chairs outside. Because it was getting dark and only March, the temperature had dropped considerably from my stroll with Santino earlier. I shivered but rather freeze to death than bear the strained atmosphere with Santino and Clifford in one room.
“Of course not. I’m just busy with fashion school, that’s all.” I wasn’t even that busy yet. Most of my courses so far were introductory because the Spring semester was only about to begin.
Clifford gave me a boyish smile. Maybe it was because I spent so much time with Santino but Clifford seemed too young. “That’s why I came on a weekend. I thought surprising your fiancée like that was a good start to a marriage.”
It probably was for a love marriage, which ours decidedly was not. The man I was close to falling in love with watched us from the sidelines and would never be my husband. And I feared that the man who’d become my husband and I was supposed to love, would never own my heart, not in the way Santino already did. It wasn’t love because I wouldn’t allow myself to feel that way, but my heart was definitely beating for Santino in a way that wasn’t healthy considering my planned future.
Clifford shrugged. “I suppose I was wrong. Don’t worry. I’ll keep myself busy until my flight leaves on Monday.”
He really flew over all the way from the States for a weekend to visit me? It was kind of sweet. I couldn’t help but feel guilty for not being a real fiancée. “I thought you were seeing someone and being exclusive. Isn’t it weird if you come visit me?”
Though maybe she didn’t mind. After all, they weren’t dating and she knew he was engaged to me, which was strange in itself, but anyway.
“We decided to not see each other anymore. It got weird with you now officially in the picture. I didn’t want to risk emotions getting in the way on her part. A scorned woman is a dangerous woman.”
My gaze darted to Santino. With him, I didn’t have to worry about word getting out. He was used to being the man in the shadows, but I could tell that he didn’t like to be reminded of it. He was no longer watching us and preparing an espresso instead, but I knew he was very aware of what went on outside and he didn’t like it one bit. I’d always relished in his brief moments of jealousy, but not today.
“We can have lunch tomorrow if you want. You came here all the way after all.”
“A pity date?” Clifford asked, sounding as if he was joking. But he had a point. It was out of pity.
“No,” I lied. “Where are you staying? Maybe I can come over so we’ll have lunch in the hotel restaurant?”
“In the Four Seasons.”
Of course. “We’ll meet in the lobby at twelve?”
I wanted to get Clifford out of the apartment as soon as possible. It felt too awkward.
He nodded and stood with a knowing gleam in his eyes. “Good. Then let’s meet there.”
I wasn’t really looking forward to spending the day with him, especially because I knew how pissed Santino was going to be in the next few days.
I accompanied Clifford to the door and Clifford pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I hope he won’t have lunch with us.”
I laughed tightly. “Don’t worry I’ll tell him to wait in the car.”
I closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief.
“You’ll tell me to wait in the car? What am I, a dog you can give orders to?”
I huffed. “I had to say something. We can’t risk making Clifford suspicious.”
Santino nodded, his jaw set tight. He was angry, but I could tell that wasn’t all. He looked jealous and upset. I didn’t even want to imagine being in his stead. I would probably lose my mind if Santino was promised to a woman and would meet her for lunch, but I wasn’t sure what else to do.
“I thought he didn’t care if you fuck other men.”
I didn’t like how callous he sounded all of a sudden. “You and I have known each other for a long time. Clifford would realize that it’s more than sex.”