“Santino,” I whispered. He answered my breathy plea with a deep thrust of his finger and soon established a slow, steady rhythm that matched his lips around my clit.
“Please,” I whispered. I’d never begged for an orgasm, and this felt like I was asking for much more.
Santino slipped a second finger into me at the same time as he sucked my clit hard.
I came with a small shudder, my hips rocking slightly.
“This wasn’t the firework I’d planned,” Santino said as he pulled out from under my dress. His hair was disheveled, his lips shiny and face red from lack of oxygen.
Santino stood then leaned down to press a kiss to my lips, allowing me to taste myself. I began to sink down to give back but Santino’s hands on my arms stopped me.
My brows pulled together.
“I’ll make a mess of your dress, and I think we should stop now. Fuck, you’re almost married and in this dress, you might as well already be.”
“I’m not married yet, Santino. Clifford and I always had an agreement that everything that happened before we married wasn’t cheating. He had plenty of girls, so he definitely can’t be angry at me for being with you.”
Santino shook his head, his dark eyes fixing me. “I could never share you if you’d been promised to me. I’d burn up with jealousy. I’d have to kill every man who touched you.”
“But in four weeks, you’ll share me with Clifford.” I wasn’t sure why I said it. I’d never meant to become a cheater, and I didn’t think I had it in me. Maybe if Clifford agreed on an open relationship where we both had other partners, but cheating?
Santino shook his head again. “No, I won’t.”
“No?”
“This will stop once you’re married, Anna. Maybe even before then if I can stop wanting you more than air. I can’t fucking do this anymore. You want Clifford. That’s fine. You try to do what’s best for your family, and I’ll do what’s best for me. Clifford has his own bodyguards and your father agreed to pick someone else for your additional protection.”
“You won’t be my bodyguard anymore?” Cold settled in my bones and a panic I couldn’t explain. Somehow I’d hoped he’d keep guarding me because he’d given up his job as Enforcer for me. I’d been naive and maybe tried to protect my heart from the harsh reality of our future.
“No.”
The word echoed between us. Santino stared into my eyes, and I could feel his determination but also a deep ache I only knew too well.
I nodded and touched his shoulders. We looked at each other. “You’re right. Maybe we should stop now.”
“We should.” Santino took a step back and my chest constricted so tightly, I was worried I’d faint.
I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. “I need to get ready now.”
Santino nodded, his expression becoming the one I remembered from the past. A little condescending and hard. “Don’t forget to give your panties a good wash before the wedding.”
I reacted in turn. “I’m sure Clifford won’t mind if I don’t wear any underwear.”
Santino turned and left.
The door fell shut behind him. I grabbed the mirror frame, needing to steady myself. I felt like a hole had opened up in front of me and wanted to suck me in. I had half a mind to let it.
An invisible barrier had built between Santino and me since our conversation in the bridal store a week ago. We hadn’t slept together again. We’d kept the distance we’d agreed on but so far I didn’t long any less for him. A week was too little time to forget what we’d had. I focused on my annoyance toward him.
Santino walked a couple of steps behind me. I couldn’t even look at him. I felt guilty because he had to accompany me to a lunch with Clifford, but at the same time angry because he wanted me to feel guilty. He blamed me for something that he’d known from the very start. I’d never lied to him. We both knew our relationship had an expiration date. Three weeks. Or maybe it had already expired. It definitely felt that way.
I stepped into the restaurant. Clifford and two bodyguards were already there.
“Of course, Cliffy needs two guards to protect his pampered ass,” Santino muttered under his breath.
His words put fuel to the fire of my anger at him, at myself, at the situation, even at Clifford. I turned to him, hissing, “Stop insulting Clifford. Grow up and get over your hurt pride. I’m going to marry him, accept it and move on.”
Santino’s expression became stone, but his eyes sent another stab of guilt through me before they too became hard and cold.
He nodded once. “I’ll be over in the corner doing my job.”