I just sat there and stroked Santino’s face as he lay on his side almost peacefully.
Time seemed to still. Sirens disrupted the quiet. And then strong hands gripped me. It was one of our men who tried to pull me up. “I’m staying!” I growled like a feral cat.
He nodded and positioned himself next to me. Paramedics fell to their knees beside Santino, shoving me aside. I crawled back a bit but didn’t leave as if my presence could hold him here.
“Anna,” Dad said. I looked up as he bent over me, grabbing my arms and pulling me up. He scanned me and kissed my cheek. Then Mom took me in her arms. “Let’s get you home.”
“No. I need to stay with him.”
Dad moved to Santino and that’s when I saw Enzo kneeling beside Santino’s head as the paramedics tried to resuscitate him. Mom’s arms around me tightened. Enzo stroked Santino’s hair like I had done. My heart broke. The paramedics put Santino on a stretcher and Enzo didn’t leave his side as they carried him out.
I followed at a slower pace, Mom’s arm still around me. Several Outfit soldiers were swarming the area by now. Dad was talking to Clifford and his bodyguards while two other paramedics took care of Clifford’s shoulder.
“Can we follow them to the hospital?” I asked Mom as the ambulance raced away.
Mom’s expression was kind. “Sweetheart, we should get you home first and make sure you’re all right. After you’ve cleaned up, we’ll visit Santino, okay?”
Dad appeared at our side. He waved a black limousine forward and it drove toward us. “Drive home. No stops. Straight home. I’ll be home as soon as I’ve talked to everyone involved.”
“If you visit Santino, I want to come with you, please.”
Dad nodded and kissed my cheek before he ushered Mom and me into the limousine.
The drive passed in a blur and when we stepped into our mansion, Leonas immediately headed our way. He had two guns in his holster. “Bea’s in the library with Riccardo and Rocco. The area was quiet.”
Leonas pulled me into a hug and scanned me from head to toe. “I wanted to come too but Dad wanted me to guard Bea with RJ and Riccardo.” I nodded, sinking into him. “What about Santino?”
His eyes burned into mine. My throat clogged up. What I wanted to say couldn’t be said in front of Mom.
Leonas wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “I’ll take her to her room, Mom. Can you check on Bea, she’s freaking out.”
Mom hesitated but I leaned into Leonas, taking the choice from her. He half dragged me upstairs because my legs felt too heavy to lift. We stepped into my room and Leonas closed the door. I caught sight of myself in my vanity mirror. My face was covered with blood splatters. I wasn’t sure if they were Clifford’s from his shoulder wound or Santino’s. But the blood soaking my white blouse…that was all Santino’s.
“Toilet!” I croaked. Leonas dragged me into the bathroom and held my hair as I threw up into the toilet.
When I stopped retching, he flushed the toilet.
“That’s the first time I’m doing this for you. Usually it’s Rocco puking his guts out after too much alcohol and pot.”
I smiled weakly as I took the wet washcloth from him and washed my face. I didn’t bother getting up. Leonas sank down across from me with his back against the bathtub. “Anna, what happened?”
I told him, my voice breaking as I came to the part with Santino lying lifelessly on the gurney. Leonas reached for me and I pressed up to him, letting him hug me.
“He’s a strong and stubborn motherfucker. He won’t die.”
I shuddered. “He risked his life for me.”
“That’s his job, Anna. Don’t feel guilty. Not about that. Feel guilty about making the poor guy fall in love with you and marrying someone else.”
I glowered. “That’s a low blow.”
Leonas smirked. “I prefer you angry to crying, sis. Channel that anger.”
“You think I shouldn’t marry Clifford?”
“I think the Outfit shouldn’t get in bed with politics, and neither should you. But I know I’m the only one in this family who thinks like that. I won’t tell you what to do, but you should make up your mind before you see Santino the next time so he can move on. Don’t tag him along until the last day.”
I swallowed hard. I should have let go of Santino long before. I knew part of him had always hoped I’d choose him and maybe I’d played on that, but I simply had been too weak to be without him.
Leonas was right. I couldn’t keep doing this. Santino needed to live for himself. He couldn’t keep protecting me and waiting on me. He needed to find someone who deserved him more than I did. I’d been selfish for too long. If he survived, I’d finally give him free even if it crushed my heart.