“A couple weeks. I was overseas pretty much since I was eighteen.”
“Do some fun shit?”
“More than enough for a lifetime,” I agreed.
“Decided to retire into a nice, calm lifestyle of an arms-dealing biker, huh? Kind of like Valen’s dad did, right?”
“Yeah,” I agreed, hoping I didn’t wince when he’d said that name. It was harder for me to keep all my feelings under wraps when I’d had a few drinks, and Nave had been in a shots sort of mood.
“Am I up-to-date on my gossip? You and Valen…”
“Ancient history,” I told him.
“Yeah? He know that?” he asked, smirking as he turned to make his way toward the bunk we’d be sharing.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“That he looked like he wanted to rip my throat out when I said I wouldn’t mind being under you,” he told me as he hauled himself up into his bed. “But I must have misinterpreted it.”
With that, I didn’t hear another peep from Nave as I got myself ready for bed and dropped down with his words playing around in my head.
Surely, he was mistaken.
Guys were notorious for not being able to interpret facial expressions. Or read the subtle differences between moods.
Still, that was what I was obsessing about even hours later when Valen and Voss finally made it back into the room, both of them dropping into bed and seeming to pass out while I obsessed about what look Valen might have had when Nave hit on me.
Then I spent almost until sun up telling myself that it didn’t matter what look he had, that while I wanted a little revenge on him, I didn’t want him to be into me again.
Though, at the back of my mind and in the bottom of my heart, I knew the truth.
That I couldn’t accept that he still wanted me because I knew I still wanted him too. Despite it all.
The next few days were eaten up by showing Nave back around town, and helping him with the endless tasks laid out by Brooks, since he was new to the whole situation.
Voss was around like usual, but seeming to do double-duty. Which was covering up for Valen’s absence.
Where he was or what he was doing was anybody’s guess. But Voss was clearly his ride-or-die, because he even lied to Brooks about Valen being around somewhere when I knew he was nowhere to be seen.
I wanted to ask.
But I wouldn’t let myself.
I knew it would get back to him if I did.
The last thing I needed was to lose more ground with him.
As it was, I was starting to second-guess my idea to prospect, whether it was what I really wanted. Or if maybe revenge hadn’t been the only thing on my mind when I’d made that decision.
Could there have been some tiny part of me that wanted to be in the club and around him in the hopes that we could put the past behind us, and look toward the future we’d always planned?
As much as I wanted to say that wasn’t even within the realm of possibilities, I knew that there was a chance.
“Where’s Valen been?” Nave asked, making me suddenly jerk upright from where I’d been pulling weeds while the guys trimmed back a tree.
Well, they weren’t exactly weeds.
They were little sprigs of mint plants that had been sprouting up everywhere because Billie had planted one mother plant a couple years back, and it had been taking over the joint since.
“He’s around,” Voss said, shrugging.
“Bullshit,” Nave said, though there wasn’t any animosity in his tone. Still, it made Voss drop the tools he was holding and lift his chin at the near-stranger.
“Where do you know Dezi from?” Voss shot back, making Nave straighten this time, even taking a step toward Voss.
I’d been around dudes enough in my life to smell a fight brewing. And if they started fighting, there would be questions and likely punishments.
“Boys, boys,” I said, jumping up and moving myself between them. “I already know you’re all big and strong, no need to puff your chests for me,” I added, getting a snicker out of Nave.
But Voss still seemed a bit, well, engaged.
“I don’t think he meant anything by the comment, Voss,” I said. “He was just asking what I’m sure we’ve all been thinking. You included,” I added, giving him a knowing look that he returned.
I didn’t really have proof before that moment. But everything about Voss right then said that I was right. That he was just as in the dark about Valen as I was. But the two of them clearly had a bond. The kind that came with no questions asked. Blind loyalty, no matter what.
That was the kind of shit that came from depending on each other in life-or-death sorts of scenarios over the years they’d known each other.