It was the after the robbery part where shit started to get real clear real fast.
Life was like that when you suddenly found yourself overpowered, bound, and gagged.
Under the cover of night, they were completely unconcerned about being seen as they dragged me by my wrists across the gravel lot, then the cement floors inside the building, before stringing me up until I dangled, making my arms and wrists and shoulders scream.
That was nothing, though, compared to what was to come.
I knew it would be ugly.
That was what Curtis loved.
Ugly and cruel and vicious and painful.
He thrived on that shit.
I’d seen it.
There was a sick sort of delight on his face when someone cried out in pain or begged for their life.
Which was why, when put in that situation, I’d done everything in my power not to scream.
I mean, the gag helped.
Any sounds that might have escaped me were muffled by it.
Living the life I had led on the road for so many years, being involved with various criminals, and ruffling feathers of your average, everyday shitheads from sea to shining sea, I’d gotten my ass kicked more than a few times.
But there was always something hectic and adrenaline-fueled about it that made it all seem to disappear in a blink. Before you could even truly register the pain.
With Curtis, though?
Yeah, he took his time. He dragged it out. He knew the anticipation was almost as bad as the actual pain.
Almost.
At some point, I’d felt my resolve slipping. But I knew that if I gave him the screams and pleas that he wanted, that it was going to be over faster.
And as much as I’d tried not to share my troubles with anyone, some part of me hoped that Fallon and the crew and maybe Hailstorm or whoever else we sourced out to, would be able to pull a rabbit out of their hats and come and get me.
I didn’t say I love you to my parents and sister.
I didn’t say goodbye to my friends.
And I didn’t get to tell Lulu how I felt.
Something happened to me when her name crossed my mind. For just one random second, there was a memory so strong that it ripped me out of my present reality and set me back to finally getting to kiss her for the first time.
I dove deep into that memory, trying to recall every little detail. The way her soft skin slid across my palms and her silky strands slipped through my fingers. The smell of her perfume—a little sweet, a little spicy. The taste of her vanilla chapstick. The sound of her little needy whimpers.
I put everything I had into it.
And for a blissful couple of moments, I was there instead of the shitty building with the drafty windows and the filthy floors and the makeshift table full of torture devices.
Snapping back to reality was rough as new pain flared through my system, stealing my breath away as I looked down to see that I’d somehow been so caught up in my memories that I hadn’t felt them being inflicted at all.
Decision made, I leapt right back into my memories of Louna in those first few blissful days of our new relationship. We hadn’t been able to get enough of each other, texting and calling and video messaging all day long, often falling asleep with each other over one of those outlets at night.
And when life permitted, we spent every stolen moment we could together. Even if it was just getting to drive her from the gym back to her parents’ house.
But I lived for the times when we could get more than a few minutes. When I could sneak in and cuddle up with her on her bed and watch her favorite movies while she gave me all the soft and sweet of her that she never showed to anyone else.
Of course, yeah, the memories drifted back to other shit too. Especially when the pain kept getting more and more intense and the sweeter, more innocent memories weren’t cutting it anymore.
Lulu had been even softer and sweeter then. It was maybe the only time I’d ever seen her nervous. That first time. Our first time. Her first first time.
After that, though, she’d been wild and demanding, barely able to keep her hands off of me, gaining confidence with that sort of intimacy the way she was sure of herself in every other kind of situation.
Eventually, the pain stopped. Mostly because Curtis got tired and wanted to go get a little rest before it started up again.
I didn’t have what it took to bring back any more memories then. I was too hurt. Too exhausted.
Pain could do that to you. Sap every last ounce of energy in your body.
So I’d been dozing in and out of consciousness when I heard a noise that suddenly jolted me fully awake.