“When I was sent here as a Watcher with two hundred other angels, we were under strict orders to merely observe the humans, guide them when they were in danger, but never to directly know them. But we fell in love with mankind. Your human ways were so foreign to us, but so magical. Soon we made ourselves known to you by taking human form. We taught you things—forbidden things.”
“What did you teach us? I mean, them. I mean, us.”
I smile into her skin. “We taught humans about astrology. Science, meteorology. The art of writing. The phases of the moon, the signs of the sun.”
“So…everything we know.”
“In so many words, yes.”
Sazahn glances at me over her shoulder. “What did you teach them?”
“Cosmetics,” I reply. “Weaponry. The art of battle.”
“Those seem like opposing things,” she says with a chuckle.
“Cosmetics, or the tools to help one shift their appearance, can be a form of weaponry, depending on how it’s used,” I reply. “But in essence, I taught balance. Beauty and horror. Creation and destruction.”
“Is that what you taught…her?”
“Not the weaponry so much,” I reply.
“Is she why you fell?”
“Most of the reason, but my father was already displeased with me,” I say. I’m not keen to dredge up painful memories, but my sweet has a right to know everything she wants to know. “At the dawn of the creation of man, one of the angels was tasked to guard the Garden.”
Her eyes widen. “The Garden? As in…”
“The Garden of Eden,” I confirm. “My father had just given Adam Eve. She was his second wife.”
“His second wife? Who was the first?”
“Lilith,” I reply. “She was banished from the Garden for refusing to obey him, be subservient to him in any way. When Eve was created, Lilith conspired with Satan to distract the sentinel standing guard at the entrance to the Garden. He was attacked, overpowered, and she and Satan entered the Garden, where she possessed an owl, Satan a serpent. The guard—the silent sentinel, as he became known, due to his failure to raise the alarm—was blamed, and God banished him.”
“Who…who was the sentinel?” she asks, but she already knows the answer.
The words leave a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Me.”
Sazahn is silent for a moment, then reaches out to place her hand over mine. “It wasn’t your fault.”
I meet her gaze. The slight smile on my lips is less bitter.
“You were overpowered,” she goes on, frowning. “I know you’re an angel, but compared to two powerful beings? What were you supposed to do?”
“Something,” I say softly, intertwining our fingers. “Something more than what I didn’t do. It wasn’t just being banished from the Garden, though that hurt enough. It was the knowledge that I’d disappointed my father. That I’d inadvertently helped bring about the Fall of Man.”
“I’m sure we’d have found another way to fuck up and fall,” Sazahn says, and now she sounds bitter. “I think about what happened tonight…or whenever that was. I have no idea what time it is. And I think, why did God waste His time? Humans are fucking horrible.”
“Time moves differently here,” I tell her, smoothing her hair away from her face. “In your world, only moments have passed. Here, we’ve passed something like a week.”
She gapes at me.
“As to your question, you see only the brutality,” I continue. “And yes, humans are capable of terrible, terrible things. There’s nothing I haven’t witnessed humans do to one another. But you also lack perspective.”
“As compared to a celestial being?” she says dryly. “Yeah, I imagine we do.”
I smile. My sweet one’s sarcasm amuses me. “I’m saying, it’s very easy for humans to become mired in their own personal circumstances without being able to see the world as we do, as a whole. Humans are also capable of great beauty. Remember, I’ve walked among you since Creation. Through acts of kindness and charity toward one another, toward physical beauty. Toward…” I pause, lifting her hand to my mouth and pressing a gentle kiss to her fingers. “Art.”
Her lashes flutter as she stares at me. “You know about my art?”
“My love, there is nothing about you that I don’t know. Including the proposition you received tonight from your customer.”