Something New

“I’m sorry. This is all a lot more than I thought it would be, and I guess I’m just conforming to the pressure of it all. Trying to live up to what a good wife should be. Trying to live up to be at least as good as my mother was…”

Axel parted his lips to speak, and his phone rang through his car speakers. He quickly tapped ‘ignore’ against the screen before I could see who it was. “Keep going,” he insisted, looking me in the eyes.

“Who was that on the phone?”

“What? Nobody. Go back to what you were saying.”

“Who was that, Axel?” I inquired for the second time.

“I swear, all you wanna do is argue!”

“Why are we even still going through with this?” I called out. “There’s still time to call it off!”

“Is that what you want?”

“That must be what you want because you’re not acting like you want this!” I accused.

“What the hell are you really trying to say, Isa?”

“I’m saying I feel like I’m alone in this! You’re gone more than you’re here, and I just don’t know! I want this, but I don’t know!”

“Well, if you don’t know, then I sure as hell don’t either!”

I pushed out an exasperated sigh. At that point, talking to him was like beating a dead horse. “Are you going to show up tomorrow or not?”

He gripped the steering wheel tightly before focusing on the gearshift. “Honestly, Isa, I swear to God right now, I don’t know,” he replied before shifting the gear into drive.

I stepped back. “Axel!”

“I gotta go.”

“Axel, wait!” I yelled as he sped off.

I stood in his wake with my heart racing. Falling in love with Axel had been such an exhilarating experience. Just the thought of him made me feel giddy, anxious, and like a ball of energy. In the blink of an eye, I’d gone from an emotional high to an emotional rollercoaster. It seemed as if our honeymoon phase had ended before our marriage even had a chance to begin.