30
Drake had been feelinglike shit. It’d been three weeks, and by now, the medicine should have started to work. If it was going to work, it would have.
In the pit of our stomachs, we’d already known what Dr. Chidozie would say about that twenty percent chance we’d clung to. There’d been a twenty percent chance the meds could have helped, but we knew Drake hadn’t fallen into the fortunate category. The doctor had delivered the news with a somber face. We’d have to see what came back from the registry.
And now, we waited.
Not that the past two weeks had been awful. After Drake had met Myles, we’d gone back to Malibu. My mom and Nora were out a lot, doing lady things like lunching, hiking, and getting their nails done, so we largely had the place to ourselves. It filled a deep well in Drake to watch his mom enjoy life. To relax and to stop working.
Drake and I had spent a lot of time walking, too. When we weren’t sitting by the pool reading or him making music, I’d drive us out to a lookout point where we’d walk for as long as Drake could and then just sit like two old lovers in the car. Sometimes we’d make out. Sometimes we’d just sit in comfortable silence. And somehow, in the past two weeks, our relationship had settled into something that felt a lot longer than nine months.
It was a couple of weeks after we got the news from Dr. Chidozie, Drake announced that he wanted to take a vacation. “I booked a cabin at Big Bear,” he said, plucking his guitar strings on a sunny afternoon. “I have two weeks in between now and my next appointment.” He glanced up at me casually. “Sound good?”
“Yeah. Course. That sounds fantastic. Do you need help planning?”
“Nope. Already booked a place. It’s huge, so I invited our moms and your brother, too. That okay?”
Of course it was okay. Anything Drake wanted now was okay with me. “Epic. I’m really excited.” I got up off my lounger and kissed him on the forehead. “Thanks, babe.”
He went back to his music. “I’ve never been there. Can’t wait to see it.”
Big Bear was one of the most magical places in California. It sat on the banks of Big Bear Lake with its cute islands jutting out. There were ski resorts and hiking and a natural environment that had an Alaskan kind of quality. The fresh mountain air would do us all good.
“Glad you’re up for it.” He finally put together several chords he’d been messing around with into a melody. “I got a huge cabin on the lake. It’s off-season, so it should be peaceful.”
I already started packing in my mind. “It’s pretty nice in May but still can get pretty cold, so we’ll need winter coats. It would be nice to have a campfire outside. What kind of place is it? Does it have an outdoor area?”
“You’ll see. Just take what you think you’ll need.”
He didn’t seem quite as excited as I felt. But when Drake was into a song? It was impressive we’d spoken this much with his guitar in hand.
“When do we leave?”
“A couple days.”
“Wow that’s last minute.” I instantly regretted saying it because for the next year, everything we did would be last minute. It wasn’t like we could plan vacations a year out anymore.
He gave himself a satisfied nod as his melody and chorus chords came together in a gorgeous loop.
“That’s really good, Drake.”
He tapped his phone to record his creation. I loved watching him make music. It was how I imagined Monet or one of the impressionists painting. A dab. A swish. Stand back. Consider. Dab and swish again, and the next thing you know, the light started coming to together as a masterpiece. Maybe Drake felt that way, too, when he created. Maybe that’s why he mentioned impressionists in his song for me at Uyu.
It could be really hard to keep my hands off him in these moments. Though he was crumbling inside, he still looked like a sexy fucking rock god. Though one that may have suffered a long night. He was more beautiful to me than ever.
I had to work hard not to cling to him with desperation. If these were our last days, I didn’t want them to be filled with any negativity. I wanted to take as much fear out of them as possible. This trip was very likely him doing the same.
A couple of days later,we took two cars and drove the two and half hours to Big Bear.
Tyran came in the “kids” car. “Man, I’m kind of getting car sick back here.”
“We’re almost there. Open a window.” I looked in the rearview mirror. “You always get carsick. You could have offered to drive instead.”
“I made the fatal error of leasing a car and now I’m always protecting my miles. It’s bullshit actually.”
Drake turned around in the passenger seat to chat to Tyran. “Don’t you have like five cars, though?”
“Four. But all of us and this luggage would only fit into one of them. It’s a gas guzzler, too.”