CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE
Bran
Life was good. Anne and I were getting along. I could just barely see the round of her stomach where our child grew.
The only hiccup in this arrangement was my continued cowardice when it came to telling her how I felt.
I finally talked myself into thinking that I had several months, until the baby came, to make her fall in love with me. I worked to do all the right things, like checking in on her in the morning, like a man in love would.
When I found her crying after hanging up the phone with Peter, I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her. Then I would go over to Peter’s and beat the living shit out of him.
I tried not to call her too much during the day. I was taking Noel’s advice and giving her some breathing space. But every now and then, I had to call because I wanted to hear her voice.
Today I was taking off early because she had a doctor’s appointment. She sometimes chastised me for being overly involved, but not when it came to her prenatal visits. I was glad that she understood how important it was for me to experience as much of our baby’s development as possible.
I’d been disappointed that we hadn’t heard the baby’s heartbeat last time. The doctor said the baby was being shy, hiding in the back of Anne’s uterus. It was hard to think that was possible, but the doctor wasn’t worried.
She had Dax drive her to the doctor’s office. I told him he could take off and I’d bring her home. Although I had a lot of work to do, I wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon with Anne. She was part of the most important project I was working on; project make Anne love me.
We were called back to the doctor’s office. “I thought today we’d have an ultrasound. We can see how this little person is coming along.”
A wave of emotion flooded my chest. I was going to see our child. I looked at Anne and squeezed her hand.
The doctor led us to another room set up with the ultrasound machine. She instructed Anne to lay on the bed and pull her shirt up and lower the waistband of her slacks.
The doctor squeezed jell on Anne’s belly and then pressed a wand to it, spreading the goo around.
“Alright then…” The doctor watched the screen and then stopped. “Here’s your baby.”
I looked at the screen and my heart tumbled over into love. A tiny little body floated inside Anne. “Oh my God.”
Anne took my hand. I squeezed it feeling like she was the only thing keeping me from floating away in total bliss.
“Do you want to know the gender?”
I looked at Anne.
“Do you want to know the gender of your baby?” Anne asked.
“Do you?”
Her brow furrowed like she thought it was strange for me to be asking. “It’s up to you.”
It hit me then. She still viewed this baby as mine and only mine.
How long had I been seeing it as ours? But she didn’t.
I shook my head. “No.”
“Really?” The doctor seemed surprised.
“It will make it more special when it arrives in the world.” That was what I said.
But deep down I was buying time. When I learned the sex of the baby, I wanted Anne to be a part of it too. I wanted her to be a part of me and the baby, a family.
“How about the heartbeat? I know you want to hear that.”
I nodded. “Absolutely.”