She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to me.”
“But that’s a lie. It does matter, and I think it hurts you to feel that way.”
“I don’t have feelings. I learned a long time ago if I care, I end up getting hurt every time, and I’m not willing to do that.”
“But you already care.”
“Bullshit. Get the fuck out,” she yelled.
He sighed and headed toward her. It frustrated her and pissed her off when he lifted her over his shoulder with ease even though she was fighting him.
His hand came down on her ass sharply a few times as he walked into his bedroom and closed the door. “Enough,” he said.
“Fuck you.”
He dumped her on the mattress and started to pull her clothes off.
God, why was this turning her on so much?
She growled and tried to kick at him, but it only made him smile.
When she was naked, he started on his clothes.
“Are you on birth control?” he asked.
“None of your business.”
He shook his head and finished undressing. Then he opened his nightstand drawer and pulled out some things she couldn’t see, and it made her nervous.
He put a knee on the mattress.
“Don’t you touch me, you bastard.” Damn, even to her own ears, that sounded weak and pathetic.
He grabbed her leg and pulled her toward him before climbing on top of her. He spread her legs wide and slipped his hips between her legs before he lifted her hands above her head and gripped them with one hand. Now he had her immobile and totally at his mercy.
That made her furious, and she tried to fight, biting and kicking. It didn’t take long for her energy to fade, and she lay underneath him and tried to calm her heartbeat and breathing.
“I know you don’t want to do this,” she said.
“Yes, pet, I do. I care very much for you, and I don’t like it when you’re sad, but I see sometimes it will take more to convince you that I have feelings for you. If you don’t want this, all you’ve got to tell me is to stop.”
God, she wanted it so bad she could taste it, but she still felt she had to fight. “Don’t call me pet again. Call me Jenna because we both know I’m not your honey or sweetheart, but I’m certainly not your fucking dog, either.”
“Every time you curse is another punishment.”
“It won’t matter because I’ll be gone.” She silently begged for him not to give up on her.
He studied her for a moment. “Jenna, when I call you pet, it’s an endearment I’ve only given to you because you’re dear to my heart. I’ve never called anyone that. I call everyone else honey and sweetheart. Do you understand?”
She stared at his chin. Damn, now she felt like shit and an idiot. “Yeah, I get it.”
“And please get it into your head that I want to be with you and only you. I’ve never thought about what it would be like to be inside of Kyla, but I obsess over it with you.”
She looked up into his eyes. “Why would you want to be with someone like me?”
“Because you’re perfect for me. You never back down or seem afraid of me, and frankly, I’ve never felt this way with another woman. I know a lot of this insecurity stems from your childhood, and someday we’re going to talk about it, but right now, we need to build a bond that will make you feel secure.”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure I ever can.”
“It will take time, but you will eventually.
God, she really hoped so.