Zero acknowledgement of any kind and I find myself still trying to grapple with the fact she’s still so damn wrapped up in this Luke Greene fantasy of hers, and her sons mean so little to her.
“I’ll bring breakfast up shortly, then I’ll give you a bath.”
This time, I don’t wait for her to break my heart by ignoring me.
This time, I square my shoulders and walk out of the room with my head held high.
She may not give a shit about us, but I give a shit about her.
And that makes me the better person.
___
My hands are gripping the kitchen counter while I wait for Luna and Kalen to wake up.
It’s nice to have this quiet time to myself before heading to school, but it’s going to be difficult for me to leave her and Mom alone together if they don’t get the chance to meet first.
I tell myself not to worry.
I try to reassure myself that everything will be okay, and that’s all I need to finally get breakfast started.
A false sense of security.
I turn on the coffee machine, then retrieve a cup for Kalen and one for Luna. I don’t like the taste of coffee and prefer to get my kick-start in the morning via energy drinks.
As I open the refrigerator door and retrieve one, I suddenly feel guilty.
We buy these by the case because it’s cheaper in the long run, but if I could find another way to wake myself up in the morning, then Kalen wouldn’t have to give up his sneakers this year.
Letting the fridge door close, I turn around and lean against it. Feeling glum, I pry the pop-top open, just as I hear my brother’s bare feet slapping down the stairs toward me.
Shake it off. If he thinks something is wrong, it’ll put him in a mood.
Taking a deep breath, I attempt to reignite the same sense of heroism I felt when I walked out of Mom’s room a few moments before, and square my shoulders as I raise the can to my lips and drink some of my morning pick-me-up.
Kalen grunts and I grin.
It’s his usual way of saying good morning. My little brother is not the ray of sunshine one would expect upon first meeting us—considering we’re twins—but he doesn’t try to hide it either.
“I just turned the coffee machine on so you’re gonna have to wait a few minutes, Mr. Sunshine,” I tease him as I walk over toward the counter and ruffle his hair.
He nods as he raises his palms and rubs his eyes, before dropping them at his side, then giving me a tired glance.
“Did she meet Hailey yet?”
I shake my head. “She was still asleep. I didn’t want to wake her up. You know how difficult it is to get Mom comfortable again if she’s been bothered too much.”
He rolls his eyes.
He knows it almost as well as I do, but he gave up trying to take care of her a few years back when he finally reached his limit with her.
She needs to snap out of it because I can see the finish line approaching me too.