Flawless Ruin

JULIET

“Wouldyou stop looking like you’re about to go to the firing squad?”

Peering out of the bay window of her apartment building, looking out for David’s approach on the street below, I say, “I’m not—”

I stop when I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the pane. Okay. Maybe I am.

I try to relax my face, to look happy and fun and like the type of girl that any guy would want to go on a date with. But nope. I waver between somewhat constipated, and outright doom and gloom.

“Ugh!” I sigh. “Why didn’t I cancel?”

Mara hands me my purse and phone. “Stop asking. It’s too late, anyway,” she says with an encouraging smile. I’m sure she can’t wait until I’m gone because she’ll never have to hear me mention this whole David date debacle again. “And stop moping,” she adds, giving me a teasing prod. “You’ll get a free meal out of it, at least. It’ll be fun.”

I nod. She’s right. I need to keep that in mind. David is nice, and funny, and sweet, and—

Not Caleb.

The intercom buzzes. I must’ve missed his approach. Mara goes to it and says, “David?”

“That’s right. Hey, Mara.”

“She’ll be right down.” She turns to me.

I smooth my skirt and toss my hair over my shoulder. “How do I look?”

“Smoking hot.”

I give her a little hug and head downstairs. David’s waiting at the front stoop, in a casual sweater and jeans. He looks absolutely amazing, and it strikes me—not for the first time—that if I hadn’t met Caleb first, I’d be head over heels for David.

But as he catches sight of me and sucks in a breath, I feel nothing.

Damn Caleb. I hope this doesn’t mean he’s ruined me for every other man.

“You look gorgeous, Juliet,” he says, taking my hand.

“Thanks,” I say, hoping his doesn’t compliment me anymore. I wish he’d be a jerk. I think that would make my life so much easier. Because I already know, even before we step foot inside the restaurant, that this is our first and only date.

It’s not that David’s boring. Quite the opposite. He asks me about my life, and is really interested, and he’s funny and self-deprecating when he talks about himself. It only makes me feel worse, knowing that One Month Ago Juliet would’ve been having a blast by now.

Instead, as he pulls out the chair for me to sit at this fancy French restaurant in Tribeca, I feel miserable.

“Are you okay?” he asks me as he sits down across from me.

I look up from the menu, where I’m trying to decide between the salmon and the pork. Even though I haven’t eaten anything all day, I have no appetite at all. “Oh, sure. Why?”

“You’re just quiet.”

“Sorry. I’m just tired, I guess. Busy day at work.” Then I realize I might have missed something. “I’m sorry. Did you ask me a question?”

He nods. “I asked when your vacation’s coming up.”

Oh. I vaguely remember him telling me something about how he was going to Costa Rica for the week at the end of the month. Or… Was he already there last month? Oh, god, I am a horrible conversationalist.

I smile. “I just started less than a month ago. I don’t think I’ll be getting vacation anytime soon.”

He leans forward. “Okay. But when you do get a vacation, where’s the first place you’ll go?”

I immediately flash back to my last vacation, a mini-weekend getaway with Caleb in Southampton. Me and Caleb in a secluded cove off the coast.