“To see if she would.” Even through everything that happened, I thought she’d see the real me. The part she said she discovered. That she’d understand how much I wanted her here. That I’d gone to such lengths to have her participate.
“And now that she did, you don’t know if she’ll be back.”
“She will,” I assure her. That’s my one saving grace. My ace in the hole, so to speak.
“That much faith in your manliness,” she chuckles.
“Did my best to get her pregnant while I had her here.” Yeah, it may be an asshole move, but after feeling her body close around me, there’s no way I could ever go back. I knew then. I should have come clean, but I didn’t, and now I’ve let things go too far.
“Ay, muchacho,” she says with a note of disappointment.
“I know.” I exhale. “I should fucking know better.”
“Language,” she snaps automatically.
I give a halfhearted grin. “You don’t give up, do you.” Her need to make me into a polite member of society, even after all these years, still makes me smile sometimes.
“Despite the rumors people circulated, she’s a nice girl,” she assures me. Of course, she would have gotten a firsthand account of everything that went on in town, even though she hardly sets foot there. “Not like what you’re used to.” She sniffs.
“Problem is, she really was a nice girl, Mayela. And none of those rumors were true.” I have the sheets to prove it.
“Why is that a problem?” she asks, frowning.
“Because I was literally keeping her here,” I confess.
She raises a brow.
“I manipulated the situation, so I got what I wanted.” I’m not sharing more of the details. It’s enough that she learned anything from Ezequiel.
“Santa Maria, Madre de Dios…” Mayela shakes her head, calling on the Virgin Mary. “Doing what your grandpa did isn’t going to work for you,” she says with that authoritative tone in her voice. “You know that, right?” she tacks on, as if she needs to soften the blow.
Even though Lilian Marie gave birth to me, Mayela has done more of the mothering. She was there for the scrapes and bruises, giving back as good as she got. I came to see she understood more than she ever let on in front of Mom, likely out of respect for the family. So she, more than anyone else, can see past my outer shell.
“Yes, I know.” I take a drink from the bottle she handed me. “I didn’t plan on doing it.” I held out while she was all prickly. The problem came when she was all soft and accepting. “Things just worked out that way on their own, and I went with it.”
“Things aren’t the same as they were in those years, Addler. A woman doesn’t need a man to raise a child in this day and age. That’s if she decides to follow through with the pregnancy.”
“I’ve been trying not to think too much about that.” I stop my leg from bouncing, not knowing how long I’ve been doing it to begin with. “Which is what has me sitting out by the pool, drinking by myself.” Coming up with a backup plan in case it’s needed. I could make a call, but this feels more personal. My woman. My baby. My responsibility.
“Well then, the only thing I can say is you can’t start out being an asshole then switch directions and expect her to figure out what you’re doing. You either have to clarify or soldier on as you were.”
How Mayela’s able to boil down three days of my life into a single sentence, without being here, is beyond me. Though she has a point there at the end. While Elena probably saw a side of me nobody else ever has, I don’t know where that’ll get me. If there’s one thing I do know how to do, it’s take what I want.
“And since we’re talking about it, your grandmother confessed that her father left the selling of the ranch to her. So think about who took who.”
I give a humorless laugh. I guess Mom was right—the women in the family are the ones with the brains.