He couldn’t see his father. Or hear him. He couldn’t feel him either. There was a blank space in their bond.
And then it hit him.
His father was gone. He had been consumed by the fire.
Roman’s youngest cousin, just a toddler, came stumbling out of the fire. He was crying and saying "Papa," over and over. "Papa, Papa, Papa," he wailed.
Roman’s uncle came staggering out of the fire. He collapsed. "Your father…" he said. "He saved us."
Roman gathered him into his arms. His uncle would survive. Wolves could survive some burns. Far more than humans could, but they couldn't survive everything.
"Is he –?" Roman asked.
His uncle nodded. "Yes. He didn’t make it. I’m sorry." He coughed. "I tried to drag him out, but he kept going back."
Then Roman’s mother was running toward them. She lifted his baby cousin into her arms and dropped to her knees.
"He's gone," Roman said.
His mother nodded tearfully. "I could feel it." A few more wolves came staggering out of the woods toward them. They all had the same story. The Alpha had saved them. He’d sacrificed himself to save them.
Roman half-carried his uncle, while shepherding his mother and his cousin to the lake. Thankfully most of the pack had made it to the other side. They were still on pack land. They’d just have to start over.
Once they’d all made it across the water, Roman stood in front of the pack. "He saved all of them. Our Alpha was a hero," he said.
But now they were without an Alpha and Roman was due to go to Blackwood Academy in just a month. The academy no longer seemed important. Roman had to put his pack first.
His uncle waited two weeks and then he patted him on the back. "You need to go."
"How can I?" Roman asked.
"I was your father’s second in command, and I can be yours for a month, until you have time to pick a new one. Go. I know it seems wrong, but you need to go. It’s important."
Roman went.
At first, it felt very wrong being there. It felt like he was abandoning his duty to his pack. But after the first day, he was able to compartmentalize his grief and only think about it at certain times of the day. It was always with him. It always would be.
But he was able to function, and then he began to enjoy himself. Not only were his own pack members there but he met other ones too. He met all kinds of bear shifters and a few fox shifters too. The one that he shared a sleeping space with was named Sutton.
In those four weeks, they learned how to be shifters. They learned how to take care of a pack. Not everyone would be an Alpha, not even close, but in a pack, everyone did their part.
The way his father had talked about it made shifter Academy sound more like a fun, human summer camp than a grueling set of tasks. Sometimes it was a combination of both. There was actually one night when they got to roast marshmallows and melt chocolate and make s'mores. But most of the time they were tasked with completing obstacle courses, learning extreme hunting, or practicing survival skills. At the end of the first week, one of the leaders pulled Roman aside.
"You're doing great, son, and I know that you've already proved yourself in the real world. We all know how you got most of the pack evacuated and went back for your father."
"I couldn't get to him in time though. I didn't know how far he was in the flames," Roman said.
"It's not your fault. I know your pack told you that, right?"
"Yes, they've told me," Roman said.
"And do you believe it?"
"Most of the time, sir."
He had struggled with feeling like if he had done more, then his father would still be alive.
"Your father did what an Alpha was supposed to do. He gave everyone their jobs ahead of time and he made sure they happened. He trained you to behave the same way and that is what his job was. He did his job, and he can rest easy now."