“I’m not a kid anymore! Stop calling me that!” I shout, but he ignores my protest and keeps walking. My childhood nickname is awful, but at least it’s not Hannah Banana, like every other Hannah in the country. Colby and his goons thought they were so clever when they decided to combine Hannah and banana into one word instead.
Several of the library patrons turn to give me scowling looks. Great, one of them is Shandi. She didn’t torture me with her presence enough this past weekend, so she had to come to my work for more. Gertrude will definitely hear about my outburst, and then she really might demote me to janitor. Not that there’s anything wrong with cleaning to pay bills, but I’m kind of already without a home. I’d like to keep my pay where it is—unless we’re talking about more money. I would gladly accept a raise, but it’s doubtful that will ever happen.
Once Seth is out the front door, Millie jumps out of her chair and rushes over to my side. “Okay, spill! What was that about?”
“Nothing. He was just checking on me,” I say, trying to sound casual, like the thought of Seth sitting and wondering how I’m doing doesn’t cause my fragile little heart to go pitter-patter.
“What’s going on there?” she asks, dropping her voice so it’s low and quiet. I shrug my shoulders, like Seth stopping by is a normal, everyday occurrence, and begin digging through the piles of papers on the desk to make myself look busy. I don’t want to have this conversation right now, especially not here in the library with Shandi standing ten feet away, trying to listen. She thinks she’s being discreet, but the way she’s leaning toward us makes it only majorly obvious.
“There’s nothing going on,” I reply in a clipped tone. That should give her a hint to drop the subject, but no one is picking up any of my hints today.
“You like each other, right? Why don’t y’all just kiss and get it over with already?” Millie says, and I don’t think I could be any more shocked at this moment if I tried.
“What are you talking about? We don’t have any feelings for each other. He’s my brother’s best friend. That’s all.” Great, my voice is all shaky. She leans her hip against the desk and raises an eyebrow, waiting for me to tell the truth. Well, tough luck, sister. I’m taking this secret to the grave.
“I’m not buying it. I see the way you look at him,” she says. She knows. I don’t know how, but she definitely knows.
I groan and lay my head down on the desk with my face buried in my arms. This is mortifying. She’s been watching me pine away for him. I thought I was doing so well hiding my feelings, but I guess I was kidding myself. Now the question is: who else knows?
“I’ve never told anyone before. Not even when I was in high school and friends would come over and talk about how hot my brother and his friends were. I would just make silly gagging sounds and say things like, ‘Oh, they’re so annoying.’”
“Wait, you’ve liked him since high school?” Millie asks with a humorless chuckle.
“Oh, much longer than that. Do you think everyone in town knows?” I ask. Please let the answer be no. I won’t be able to show my face in this town if I find out everyone has known for years. I definitely have to finish rewriting my resumé and get it sent out to businesses in Austin. I have procrastinated long enough. With the events of this past weekend and Seth suddenly popping up unannounced, this town is becoming unbearable.
“I doubt it. Tess didn’t even know,” Millie replies.
“What do you mean?” I sit up quickly and almost fall out of my chair. Millie’s face looks worried. She bites on her thumbnail as she debates how to tell me. So much for taking this secret to my grave. I might as well walk outside and shout it from the rooftop.
“Well, the first day I met y’all, I asked Tess what was going on between you and Seth, and she said she didn’t know. That’s it.”
I’ve never been more embarrassed in my entire life. People are discussing my feelings for Seth. My stomach feels all queasy now, so that’s fun. I pull my sweater up to cover my face, but Millie pulls it back down.
“It’s really not a big deal,” she assures me.
“On what planet is it okay to find out that one of your most guarded secrets might not be as much of a secret as you thought?!”
“Well, it’s not like we’ve just exposed that you’re an axe murderer from Eastern Europe who has been hiding out from authorities. Or that your parents aren’t actually your parents at all, but a couple who kidnapped you because they always desperately wanted children and couldn’t have any of their own. Or—”
“Okay, okay, I get the point,” I groan, cutting off her fantastical ramblings.
“I’m just saying, things could certainly be a lot worse, you know?”