Even if she was, well, an insect.
“She can’t function as a proper familiar.” Asa dipped his chin. “You knew, and you did it anyway.”
The pinch in Clay’s brows eased a fraction. “That’s why you went white.”
“A girl killed by black magic shouldn’t have to live with someone who practices it.”
“I owe you an apology.” Asa bowed his head in a show of respect. “I shouldn’t have assumed—”
“I left Black Hat.” I stood my ground. “I’m not going back.”
“You would let more children die?” Asa slid his gaze past my shoulder. “Can you live with that?”
“More children like Colby.” I filled in the blanks for him. “That’s what you mean.”
The appeal to my better nature would have been laughable a decade earlier. Now I was…softer.
“I can’t go back.” I stared at the ground as if the right answers might sprout. “I can’t risk Colby.”
Black Hat might have found me, but Colby had gobsmacked Clay and Asa, which meant she was still a secret.
“We need your expertise on this case.” Asa took a step away. “Will you sleep on it?”
“It won’t change my answer,” I warned him. “I have to do what’s best for Colby.”
“I understand.” He made a gesture at the level of his navel. “Until tomorrow, Rue Hollis.”
Backing away from the fence, he pivoted on his heel then returned to the SUV.
“I wish you had told me.” Clay stuck his hands in his pockets. “I could have helped you.”
Because this was Clay, I could admit, “I was afraid I was no better than your partner thinks I am.”
Had I consumed Colby, I would have rocketed from sixth or seventh most powerful black witch in the country straight to the top. My kind ate hearts to gain power, but to devour a soul? A pure soul? The high would have sustained me for decades and left its mark on my magic for the rest of my long life.
“You never harmed innocents.” He lifted his hand as if to comfort me before recalling the wards. “You’re one of the good ones.”
“I’m a serial killer who hunts—hunted—worse monsters.”
That I had preyed on the guilty didn’t make me an angel of mercy, merely an opportunist.
“Sometimes, that’s what it takes.” His lips quirked to one side. “You did good with the kid. She’s fierce.”
“Colby is the same person she was when she died.” I shook my head. “I can’t take credit.”
That belonged to her parents, to her. And for the second time in my life, I heard a whisper of conscience.
The Silver Stag was dead, his victims avenged. I ended my career on a high note. I had nothing to prove.
But Asa had done his job well. He had planted a bug in my ear that forced me to ask what if.
What if there were more Colbys out there? What if I could save them? What if I was the only one who could?
“I’ll talk to Colby.” I bet she had been eavesdropping. “We’ll meet you for breakfast with an answer.”
“Text me the details?”
“I can’t believe you kept the same number.”
“I was only ever a phone call away, Dollface. That won’t change.”
Throat squeezing shut, I lifted a hand in a wave then returned to the porch, balancing the weight of the world on my shoulders.