Savoring the tingling warmth in my lips, I leaned my ear against his chest, over his pounding heart.
“I thought you were mad at me. For shooting down your suggestion I claim territory as a daemon rather than as a witch.” As always with Asa, I found myself unable to hold back. The verbal diarrhea flowed and flowed. “I didn’t want you to think I was opposed to the idea of being part daemon. That’s not it. It’s not like black witches are universally loved either. It’s just…a shift in my worldview I’m not ready for yet.”
“Your choice reminded me I had none in coming out as half daemon.” His arms encircled me. “Father would allow nothing less. He wanted his claim public so that everyone knew he had sired another heir.” He stroked up and down my spine. “I shouldn’t have taken old hurts out on you.”
Poor Asa.
His parents had him all twisted up about his identity and what it meant to be dae.
“So, funny story.” I kept my grip on him. “I might have blood bound Aedan to me. Slightly. Just a bit.”
With his clever fingers, Asa pushed up my shirt to feel skin. “I smelled him on you when I got here.”
“And the daemon didn’t take over.” My eyebrows shot up my forehead. “I’m impressed.”
“Don’t be.” His chest shook with laughter. “That type of bond precludes other relationships.”
“Are you telling me you tricked me into swapping blood with him to make your daemon happy?”
“I wouldn’t say tricked,” he said, sounding for all the world like a fae.
“You planted the suggestion.” I pinched his side. “You knew I would take that step to protect Colby.”
“I expected you to, if you decided to let Aedan stay.”
“It’s a bonus you didn’t feel the need to share that I can’t have, what—romantic feelings toward him?”
“Sexual,” he corrected me. “You can care for him, you already do, but not in that way.”
As much as I wanted to throttle him, I considered how I would react if the daemon had pulled the stunt and not Asa. Then I reminded myself I let the daemon get away with literal murder and decided Asa flashing his fae roots now and again wasn’t any worse. That didn’t mean I wanted to be blindsided again.
“The next time you offer a suggestion, will you fully disclose its benefits and drawbacks, please?”
“Yes.”
“You understand if you’re not truthful with me, I can’t trust you, and that if I can’t trust you, you can’t be in my life?” I wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. “Between Colby and you, I will choose her all day long.”
She was an eternal child, and I’d made her that way. She was my responsibility forever, or the next best thing. Asa was new. I liked him, a lot, but I wasn’t sure how a relationship looked for us long term. For that reason, I couldn’t prioritize him—or my hormones—over her safety and future happiness.
“I understand.” He dipped his chin. “I apologize for not being more forthcoming.”
“I enjoy when the fae comes out in you,” I admitted, “but let’s keep this thing between us honest.”
“I can do that.” He brushed a featherlight kiss over my lips. “Will you promise me the same?”
A prickle of dread stung my spine when his words permeated the lust fog clouding my brain.
“There are things I haven’t told you.” I leaned against the wall. “Things no one but Clay knows.”
Asa appeared to consider that. “Who told him?”
“The director.” I dropped my gaze. “He wanted to pair me with a watcher loyal to Black Hat.”
Loyal to him, more like, but I would be spilling my secrets if I told Asa that much.
“Orders from higher up the chain of command supersede his freewill.” He cocked his head. “I will accept an imbalance in our relationship.” He drew me back into his arms. “For now.” He buried his face in my neck and breathed me in. “As long as you think you can trust me one day.”
I do trust you.