I laughed.
He didn’t.
“I’m just going to lean into your fae juju and blurt it out.”
“All right.”
The wariness in his voice unhinged me, but it was about to get so much worse.
“Director Nádasdy is my grandfather. His son, Hiram, was my father.”
A kaleidoscope of emotion, too bright and sharp for me to read, spun across his features.
“Just to be clear,” he said, much later, “you’re not breaking up with me?”
“No?” I wrapped my arms around my middle. “You did hear me, right?”
“Yes.” His gaze found mine. “I was braced for worse.”
“Worse?” I reached for his hand on reflex but withdrew before I touched him. “What could be worse?”
“You deciding I’m not worth the trouble of dating two people at once.”
Wincing, I could have kicked myself. I hated that I had manifested a cloud of doom that had been floating over his head ever since I opened my mouth and let those words fall out.
“You’re worth it.” I forced myself to be bold, to take his hand, mine sweaty and unsure. “I wouldn’t have told you who I am if I didn’t want you to have all the facts.”
“Clay knows?”
“Clay was planted in my life by the…” I tasted bile, “…by my grandfather, so yes. He knows. He’s owned by my grandfather, which means Clay can’t betray him. He was the perfect babysitter for me.”
“Colby?”
“That kid is my life.” I tried to get my hand back. “Do you really think I keep secrets from her?”
A thoughtful calm settled over him. “I’m the first person outside your family that you’ve told.”
“Yes.” I scowled at his grip. “Do you want a trophy?”
“Rue,” he said softly, drawing me closer. “You know who my father is, and you accept me despite him. Why do you think I would hold your grandfather against you?”
“It’s not him.” I gave up and let him comfort me. “It’s me.” I sighed. “Who I was. What a did. How I lived.”
“You upended your entire life for Colby. You’re not that person anymore. Why would I judge you as if you are?”
“I’m one heart away from being her again.” I wanted him to understand. “The craving is always there. The impulses are always there. The memory of how invincible I felt…how unstoppable I was…”
“No one is invincible.” He dragged me onto his lap. “No one is unstoppable.”
“Black magic says otherwise.” I snuggled against his chest. “It’s an unimaginable high.”
“And I almost drugged you again.” His tone softened. “I would have never forgiven myself for that.”
Truthfully, I wasn’t sure I could have forgiven him either. I wouldn’t have been in my right mind. Rational thought would have flown out the window like a cartoon witch on a broom. I could taste blood in my mouth, recall the chew of the fibrous organ that contained a person’s magical core. I salivated thinking about it, and my stomach cramped as old hungers roared to the fore.
“You stopped when I asked you.” I toyed with the buttons on his shirt. “That’s what matters.”
“The director arranged for those agents to bring you in, didn’t he?”