Black Wings, Gray Skies (Black Hat Bureau 4)

“Asa…”

“I’m going to attempt a new blanket for Colby.” He stood there, dripping. “I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

“I need you,” I shouted before he could turn his back on me, maybe for good this time.

“Rue, you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

“Everything about you makes me uncomfortable.” His stricken expression gutted me. “That’s not—” The words refused to come. “You push me out of my comfort zone, okay? You’re so perfect, and you get me. You don’t care about my past, and you’re like this husband I ordered out of a catalog or something.”

Frozen to the spot, he barely breathed while I rambled at him like a crazy person.

“I want to have sex with you. Or make love. Or whatever you want to call it. I’m not sure. I’ve never been in love, so I have no idea what qualifies.” I covered my face with my hands. “This whole thing is confusing, and you’re over there, pure as the driven snow, and I’ve had orgasms that fueled spells that killed people. I don’t know what to do or how to do it. I don’t want to taint you.”

Virginity wasn’t a gift. You don’t give it away. You don’t lose yourself or your worth when you share your body. But it is a moment, and you only get to experience it once. He deserved it to be special.

“Maybe we should stick with yes or no questions to avoid confusion.” His warm palms landed on my bare thighs, but when I refused to look at him, he pried my hands away from my face.

“Okay.” I studied the knot of his towel then felt like a perv and shut my eyes. “First question?”

“Do you love me?”

A frustrated tear slipped through my lashes. “Yes.”

“Do you want me?”

“Yes.”

“Now it’s your turn.” He wiped my cheeks dry. “Ask me.”

Part of me wanted to shrivel and die on the spot for being so terrible at relationships I had reduced us to this.

The other part, the one who stripped naked in the first place, wanted to lick beads of water off his chest and straddle his hips while he sat in this chair, maybe with his hands tied, so I didn’t give her much credit for reading the room.

With terrible effort, I forced the question through the knot in my throat. “Do you love me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me?”

Fingers threading with mine, he used them to pull me to my feet. “Yes.”

Naked before him, muddy feet and all, I found courage. “Is that a yes for the future or a yes for now?”

“Now.” He wet his lips. “And in the future.” His horns flickered, glimmered darkly, then vanished again. “Please.”

Hands linked behind his neck, I buried my face in his throat. “Since you asked so nicely.”

“Where?”

“Your room.”

The grimoire might cockblock us just for funsies in mine, and I was about to combust.

“Okay.”

He slipped in a puddle left from earlier and banged his shoulder on the frame with a hiss. I kissed the small hurt then continued my slow progression to his neck and up to his jaw. I nibbled a biting line to the corner of his lips then brushed across them gently, determined to get this right.

“Do you want candles?” I traced his carotid with my tongue. “Music?”