Black Wings, Gray Skies (Black Hat Bureau 4)
Page 103
The strain in my voice leaked out, and she touched back down on the perch.
“You want to talk about Charleston.” She huddled deeper into her blanket. “The daughter thing.”
“Um.” I would rather extract my own teeth first. “Yes.”
“I know you didn’t mean it like that.”
“I don’t…” I sank onto the couch. “It’s just…”
“You don’t want me to think you’re trying to replace my mom.”
“Yes.” I sagged with relief. “That.”
“I’m not my mom’s little girl anymore.” Her antennae slouched a bit. “I love her, and I miss her, but she’s not…” Her wings twitched. “She couldn’t be my mom now.” She drew patterns on the perch with a foot. “She wouldn’t understand me, and she couldn’t protect me.” A sigh moved through her. “I think, if I did go back, it would make her sad.”
“Colby…”
“She would see the girl I used to be instead of the girl I am, and it would be too hard. I would be trapped there, and anyone who saw me would think I was a pet. Over time, she might see me that way too. It would be easier. Simpler. To have a pet rather than a moth-girl daughter. I wouldn’t blame her for that.”
“She might surprise you,” I forced myself to say, the words cutting a path out of my throat.
“You see me for who I am, Rue.” She drew herself up taller. “You understand me, and you value my opinion. I’m not a thing to you. I’m me.” Her speech reminded me of Clay, and it made me ache for them both. “You only know me like this, and I only know you like this, and I think we’re better off if we keep growing into our new lives together.”
“I just want you to be happy.”
“I am happy.” She flitted over to land in my lap. “You gave up everything for me. You saved me. You helped me figure out how to be this new person. You never put limitations on me. You always believe I can do anything I put my mind to, and I always believe you.” She butted her head against my stomach. “I believe in you, Rue. I always have, and I always will. I don’t need a mom, but I need you. I don’t know what that makes you or me, but maybe we don’t need labels.”
“You’re very wise for a fluff ball.” I kissed the top of her head. “How did you get to be so smart?”
“I played an oracle for a few months.”
“Ah.” I pretended like I understood her gamerese. “That would explain it.”
Snort-giggling, because she knew I was full of it, she snuggled closer.
“You can call me your daughter,” she murmured against me. “If you want to.”
“We’ll figure it out,” I promised her. “Did Clay tell you where he was going?”
“To round up students for the self-defense classes you promised Camber and Arden.”
“What do you say, I change clothes, put on my favorite hair bow, and we have a girls-versus-boys race to see who can sign up the most students?”
Aedan wouldn’t hold it against me if I stuck him with the electrician, right? He was already there, and no one knew we were home. Really, he should thank me for sparing him from playing punching bag for Asa.
Plus, it would give Colby and me much needed one-on-one girl time that was in short supply these days.
“I’m in.” She kicked off to glide a loop around the room. “Want me to call Clay?”
“Heck no.” I made a production of jerking back. “Do you know how charming the ladies find him?”
One flutter of his lashes, and he would have them eating out of the palm of his hand.
“Oh.” Her eyes glittered. “A stealth mission.” She rubbed her hands together. “I like it.”
While she folded her blanket, I changed into leggings, a fitted tee, and a pair of sneakers.
I might have also cast a teeny spell to make my outfit matchy-matchy too.