“It would be for the best.” He stood and approached me, giving me enough time to withdraw. “I can’t stay. I have a vow to fulfil.”
“To Luca.”
“To your mother.”
“You vowed to kill your father for taking her life,” Asa, who was no stranger to dreams of patricide, stated with absolute certainty. “You might die in the attempt. Is it worth it to avenge a woman you will never see again, when you could stay here and fight beside one who has borne the guilt of your deaths most of her life?”
“Father told you—” the air behind him pulsed with its own heartbeat, “—that you killed us?”
Everything the director told me was a lie, he said, and he’d had no idea of the truth of his words.
“He said I came into my power early,” I rasped, recalling the details. “That there was an accident.”
“Dark gods damn his black soul.” He rushed me then, bundling my tense form in his arms. “My sweet girl, you did no such thing. Nothing that happened to your mother or me was your fault. You’re innocent, Cate. You have done no wrong.” He held on tight, until I couldn’t breathe, or maybe that was the sobs hitching my chest that kept me mute. “I failed you and your mother, but I won’t fail in this.”
With his voice fierce in my ear, and his love for me a light within his darkness, I couldn’t deny it. Deny him. This was my dad. He was alive, and he was here, and I didn’t want him to go.
“Stay.” I tried not to, I tried so hard, but I melted against him. “Please.”
“I made a vow.” His awkward embrace grew more certain. “I am bound by my own magic to fulfil the bargain, or the spell I used will rebound on me.”
“All that power…” I shivered at the thought. “It would kill you.”
There was no point in confirming it. He knew. That was why he had to go. Part of the reason, anyway.
“Modern technology confuses me, but we can exchange letters. You can write me. We’ll stay in touch.”
“Let me help you.” I clung to him. “We can work together—”
“No.” He kissed my forehead then withdrew. “You will continue on. You must. Or Father will suspect.”
“You don’t have to do this.” I fisted his old-fashioned coat. “You can stay. I can protect you. I—”
“You struck an animus vow,” Asa said slowly, as understanding darkened his expression. “That’s the only reason I can fathom you wouldn’t fight to stay with your daughter.”
“What does that mean?” I glanced between them. “What’s an animus vow?”
“Your mother and I were soul bound, in the daemon way.” Dad did not appreciate Asa’s epiphany. “We would have died together, we should have, but I swore revenge on her killer.”
“Okay, so you said earlier.” I rolled my hand to get them around to the point. “What am I missing?”
With a flourish of his hand, Dad gave Asa the floor to finish smashing any remaining illusions.
“The moment he satisfies his vow,” Asa said, unhappy with the spotlight, “he will die.”
Old grief soured my mouth and left me tasting ashes as I told Dad, “You should have stayed dead.”
Now I would have to mourn him all over again. This time without the burden of his death, or Mom’s, on my conscience. No. Now I would live with the guilt of gobbling down every word the director had spoon-fed me. I had lived in that miserable manor, floors above my father, and I never suspected he was there. I should have searched for him, for my own answers. I could have saved him, but I left him there to rot.
This visit had ripped open old scar tissue, and I was bleeding out on the inside.
“I apologize.” He withdrew after pressing a tender kiss to my forehead. “I shouldn’t have come.”
Without another word, he strode toward the rear exit.
Warmth trickling down my cheeks, I ran after him into the parking lot as if sprinting through a dream.
I wanted to yell at him, hug him, hit him, scream until I tasted blood then spit in his face until his leaving, his choice to go, didn’t skewer my heart. Until I convinced him to forget revenge. Move on. Stay. For me.