Heartless (Enemies to Lovers 1)

“I’m fucked up.”

I shake my head at his lame excuse. I somehow expected more from him.

“We’re all fucked up, Carter. You don’t see the rest of us being total assholes about it.”

Again he nods. I really don’t like this side of him. It leaves me feeling frustrated.

I turn around and start to walk away, done with this very weird conversation.

“You smell like crushed apples,” he says, and the words stop me dead in my tracks. “You taste like crushed apples,” he whispers as he moves closer to me.

I turn back to him. “Then why did you say those things to me?”

“Because I can’t stop thinking about crushed apples. I’ve become obsessed with the smell of it. I can’t get enough of the taste of it.”

Not sure I’m following him, I ask, “What are you saying?”

“I don’t deserve the chance but I’d like one,” he whispers as he takes another step closer to me.

“A chance?” I shrug, wishing he would just spit it out.

“With you,” I can barely hear the words above the rain.

I close my eyes, shaking my head.

When I open my eyes, he reaches for me. He pulls me to his chest and hugs me, as if we’re actually friends.

“Why do you kiss and hug me?” I try to squirm away but he won’t let me. “I don’t understand why you’re even here,” I huff upset, but my voice loses its force, going from intense to soft, as my bravery fizzles out.

The longer I keep looking up at him, the more I want to stand in his arms and forget why I was pushing him away in the first place. I want to forget that we’ve been fighting and all the cruel things he’s said to me.

I drop my gaze to his chest and I’m just about to pull away when he says, “I like you, Della. At first, I fought my feelings for you. That night you were running from those guys, seeing the fear on your face, it fucking slayed me. After that, I thought if I could make you hate me, I wouldn’t have to fight my attraction for you.”

His hands move from my back up to my shoulders. One keeps going until his fingers wrap around the back of my neck. He doesn’t wait for me to answer, he just keeps going. My mouth drops open because here is Carter of all people telling me what, exactly?

“I like you way too much to just let you go,” he chuckles and it makes him only sexier.

“Just a heads up,” I say. “You’re not a kid anymore. Pulling my hair won’t get me to like you.”

“So you’re not into kinky shit?”

I scowl at him. “You know what I mean.”

He pulls me closer until my chest is flattened against his. I can feel his heart racing as fast as mine. His eyes are smoldering, almost black. I’ve never seen them so dark. I’ve always considered myself a strong person, but when I’m around Carter all my so-called strength vanishes into thin air. Love just makes you an idiot.

When he continues, his voice is softer. “I’m a heartless jerk. I’ll understand if I’ve fucked any chances of us getting together.”

His fingers slide a hot path down my left arm, takes hold of my hand and he brings it up between us, placing it on his chest. I watch how his hand swallows mine whole.

Carter likes me? I mean, does he really, really like me? Like the way I like him?

Not that I should like him at all. I’m not just going to forget how cruel he’s been, no matter how good a kisser he is, or how I feel about him.

“Why are you a heartless jerk?”

He just shakes his head, so I don’t force the subject.

I let my eyes drink in every inch of Carter’s strong features. No one does it for me like he does. I want a chance with him, but I’m not convinced that I can trust him. I want to fall hopelessly in love but what if this is all just a way of getting me to let my guard down?