He’s right. We do live on opposite sides of the country.
“At most, it’s a six-hour flight,” I say, already planning ways to see her.
“Jax, just let it go. So she was the best you had. It doesn’t mean you’re fucking soulmates or some equally sappy shit. Why can’t you just let her go?”
“I kissed her,” I whisper. I never told him that.
“You never kiss.”
I smile at him. “That’s why I’m not giving up.”
“I told her you love her.” He shakes his head. “You know what she said?”
“She hates me? How the fuck should I know,” I snap, a little pissed that he told her how I feel about her.
“She said my heart is the only heart she’s interested in. I believe her, Jax. She’s the kind of person who lives for her job. There is no place for you in her life. She’s a fucking genius. Her world is based on facts, proven fucking facts. Her kind doesn’t believe in things like love, and death, and Adam and fucking Eve, Jax!”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” I stand up and push the tray with food closer to him. “It’s not that she was the best I’ve ever had. It’s the way she looked at me. Besides you, she’s the only one who’s ever looked past the bullshit. Asking me to leave her…” I take a deep breath while looking at my best friend. “It’s the same as asking me to leave you, Marcus. I didn’t give up on you. I won’t give up on her. I’ll make her understand. I’ll prove to her that it’s a fucking fact that I love her. It’s a fact that she feels something for me. I have to show her feelings don’t hurt.”
“I get it. Leigh is to you what Willow is to me,” he whispers.
I smile at him as I finally understand why he keeps going back to Willow. She’s his person.
“Eat the food. I’ll check in on you after work.”
He picks up the fork and stabs at the piece of chicken.
“It’s fucking tasteless. It makes the metallic taste in my mouth worse.”
“She’s going to fix you,” I whisper and I’m suddenly overcome with emotion.
The expression on his face jumps from hope to fear and back to hope. I place my hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze.
“Doc won’t let you die, Marcus. It’s not in her to fail. If she thought there was even the slightest chance that you could die, she wouldn’t do it.”
“You really believe that?” Tears well in his eyes, and it makes it harder for me to control my emotions.
“It’s a fact, Marcus.”
“Keep that in mind when she rejects you. If she thinks there’s a chance that things won’t work out between you, she’ll push you away.”
We’re finally on the same page.
“Thanks, Marcus. It helped to talk things out with you. I’ll see you later. Eat the shit and sleep.”
When I get back to work, I go directly to Carter’s office. I tap on the door before entering.
“Do you have a minute?” I ask as I sit down across from him.
“Sure. Did you just come from the hospital?” He leans back in his chair and gives me his undivided attention.
“Yeah, thanks for calling Leigh. Talking about Leigh, what time is her flight?”
“Why, Jax?”
I let out a burst of laughter. “So I can see her before she leaves.”
Carter gets a serious expression on his face, which makes him look just like his father.