When I look up, and I see the tears in his eyes, I know that he knows what’s wrong with Marcus. He hugs me and whispers, “I’m on top of it. I won’t let my best friend die without a fight.”
The words shudder through me. Die?
There must be a mistake. Yes, it’s just a huge mistake. I say it over and over, trying to convince myself that everything can be fixed. I nod into his shoulder to show him that I heard what he said.
“You’re going to kick ass today.”
I nod again and press a kiss to his cheek. “Love you, Jax.”
I take a deep breath and step over to Logan. When I’m in front of him, my hands start to tremble. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’d say to him when I saw him again, and now that I’m here, my well-practiced words disappears like a fart in the wind.
“Let’s give them a moment,” I hear Rhett say.
I watch them get in the elevator and wait for the doors to close before I look up.
“How are you holding up?” he asks, his eyes searching my face.
“Besides being a crying mess because of you all, I’m actually doing okay. I spent the last few days with Rhett. I needed it and I think in a way he needed it, too.”
The corner of his mouth twitches, as if he was about to smile but just couldn’t.
I start to ramble, just wanting to get it all out. “I know you said I’d be better off with some lucky bastard, but I want you to be that lucky bastard. Rhett helped me make sense of the mess in my head, and I want you to know that I don’t blame you, or any of you, for what happened. I dealt with it. I was upset because I couldn’t remember what I used to like until I saw you. You made my heart skip a beat back then, and it was so good to feel it again. You made tingles race over my skin, and it felt amazing. I had a huge crush on you, and when I saw you, I realized that the crush had turned into love. I’ve never felt wanted and loved by man, until last week. When you hold me I feel loved. When you look at me like that, I feel wanted. I’m not giving up on us, Logan.”
I take a deep breath, hoping what I said made sense, or at least some of what I said.
Chapter 12
Logan
The past few days have been the hardest of my life. It feels like I’ve been put through a shredder. I wanted to go to Mia and beg her to give us a chance. But she asked for time, and I had to respect that.
“I spent hours trying to find out where Connor is,” I say, and when I see the worry spark in her eyes, I quickly put her at ease. “I didn’t find him which is probably a good thing. I realized that beating up a guy and landing my ass in jail for assault or murder, is not the way to win your heart. I realized that it’s not about what I want or need. It’s about what you need. And that got me thinking about what you want. You said you needed some time, and I was ready to hand you over to some other guy because I didn’t think I could ever be worthy of you. I still don’t think I’m worthy of you. I’ll never be worthy of you, Mia. I’m glad I made you feel wanted and loved. I’m fucking honored that you love me. You’re the most amazing person I know. You’ve been through hell, and you’re ha
ndling it much better than I am.”
I take a breath before I go on. I want to make her mine and erase the last three years. I’ve wasted too much time, time I could’ve spent holding and loving Mia.
“I’ve made so many mistakes, which I’ll regret for the rest of my life, but the biggest one was not admitting that I love my best friend’s sister. The first time you smiled at me, you owned me. I knew that when you’d finally love someone, you’d love them unconditionally. I just never thought I’d be the lucky one. I was right though. You do love unconditionally. You’ll climb a mountain for the one you love. You’ll swim through an ocean for them. You love with so much passion it burns brighter than a thousand suns. Never in a million years did I think I’d be the one you love. I sure as hell hoped for it, but I didn’t dare believe it could happen. I don’t deserve your love, Mia.”
Tears start to fall over her cheeks, and I can see that she’s fighting the urge to drop her eyes to her feet as she chews on her bottom lip. I reach for her lip and rescue it from between her teeth.
“Meeting you was fate. Being your friend was a bonus. But loving you is a choice I made, because I can’t imagine growing old without you. If you want me, I’ll be honored to be the lucky bastard in your life. I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I will love you for the rest of my life.”
She covers her face, before taking a step and burying herself against me. When I wrap my arms around her, I feel a slither of peace for the first time since the bomb was dropped.
I keep quiet, holding her until she wraps her arms around my waist. Only then do I whisper, “We both need time, so I think we should take it slow and just enjoy the fact that we’re finally a couple. You okay with that?”
She nods and a huge smile spreads over her face, as she looks up at me. “So no kissing?”
I let out a chuckle. “I wouldn’t say that slow. I was thinking more along the lines of not taking the first flight to Vegas, and eloping right now.”
When I lean into her, she moves away from me with laughing bubbling over her lips. She puts her hands behind her back and shakes her head at me.
“I like the anticipation. I’ll make you a bet, Mr. West. Whoever gives in first and kisses the other, owes the winner something.”
“Okay, that’s a deal.” I can see she’s trying to think of what the prize will be. “The winner gets a marriage proposal.”
Her eyes widen with surprise. “I’m so not losing.”