Shameless (Enemies to Lovers 5)

I stand up and take a deep breath, needing to make her understand that I didn’t mean it.

“You looked beautiful tonight. I lost my shit because of it. I didn’t want any of the guys seeing you like that, because I knew they would see what I’ve known all along. You’re drop-dead gorgeous inside and out. I was scared one of them would do what I was too chicken shit to do.”

Well, I wasn’t planning on laying my heart out in front of her, but now that I’ve said it, there’s no taking it back.

She just stares at me, and it’s making my stomach tighten with nerves.

Please don’t tell me to fuck off.

I send up the silent prayer as I wait for her to say something.

When she looks down at her feet and tucks some of the curls behind her ear, my body tenses as I wait for her to tell me she’ll never forgive me.

“The day I went to live with Eric and Charlotte, I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. I finally had a family who wanted me. I had a home where I could be a part of something bigger than myself.”

It’s not what I expected to hear, and it takes my mind a moment to play catch-up.

“It only took me a few days to realize nothing was as it seemed. The kids didn’t laugh, and everyone would tense up whenever Eric or Charlotte walked into a room. At first, I was on kitchen duty, but a few months later one of the older girls left, and I took over doing the laundry.”

I’m not sure where Evie is going with this story, but I listen greedily because it’s about her past. It’s something new I’m getting to learn about her.

“Some of the loads were the usual stuff, clothes I saw everyone wear daily. But there were loads filled with lingerie and some –”

She takes a deep breath and wraps her arms around her. She shrugs as she glances up at me, an unsettled look in her eyes.

My heart starts to beat faster, and my gut tightens. This isn’t just a memory Evie’s sharing with me. Something happened, and I made it worse.

She clears her throat and drops her eyes to my chest. “There was blood on the clothes. Charlotte brought the soiled loads and took the clean ones, and I knew better than to ask her where the blood came from. I suppose I was trying to protect myself from whatever was happening. If I didn’t know the truth, it couldn’t hurt me. Just before I turned eighteen, Eric and Charlotte sat me down. I was told that I would start working at the ranch on my birthday.”

My breaths come faster, and when she takes too long to continue, I rasp, “What happens at the ranch?”

“You become a sex worker.”

I close my eyes wishing I could take back what I said to Evie.

“That’s why I ran,” she whispers. “I couldn’t imagine anything worse than being forced to have sex with multiple men every night.”

I take a step towards her, but catch myself in time. I’m not sure she wants me touching her right now.

“I’m sorry, Evie. I didn’t mean it. I was jealous,” I say urgently, praying she’ll believe me.

Her eyes find mine, and she pins me with a determined look.

“I’m not a whore, Rhett. I’ve never sold my body for sex. I might have cleaned houses topless, but the worst that makes me is a stripper. There’s a huge difference. I never performed a sexual act for money. I never will. I don’t care if men stare at me. Their eyes can’t hurt me.”

I open my mouth, but she quickly holds her hand up to silence me.

“I feel violated. You think by throwing money my way I’m your property. I’m not. I never will be. I’m not a whore, Rhett. I’m definitely not your whore.”

“I never said you were my whore,” I say lamely.

“You treated me like one,” she whispers, but she might as well be screaming the words at me. “You’ve done it twice now. I’m grateful that you stepped in to help me when I had no one, but it doesn’t mean that I have no self-respect. It doesn’t mean that you can disrespect me. I might have been eating out of dumpsters,” her voice breaks and a tear sneaks down her face, “but I’m not trash.”

When her face crumbles, I can’t just stand and watch her anymore. I shoot forward, and before she can move away, I wrap my arms around her. I hold her tightly as she breaks down. I want to kiss her pain away but instead I over her the comfort of my chest.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Evie,” I whisper into her hair. “I never meant to make you feel like that.”

Now that I know more about Evie’s past it makes my protective side grow into something dark.

I’ve always been protective of Mia, but I’ve never felt anything like this before. Knowing that Logan would take care of Mia whenever I couldn’t, gave me peace of mind.

Evie only has me. She’s been hurt, scared, and abandoned. The need in me to shield her from whatever life will still throw her way, becomes a living, breathing force.

I press a kiss to the top of her head, then bringing my hands to her face, I frame her cheeks. Leaning down, I catch her eyes.

“Since I’ve met you, all I’ve wanted to do was protect you. Tonight, I was a dick, and I hurt you. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I love you, Evie. I fucking love you. There’s so much good in you that it makes me feel half decent whenever I’m around you. I have my fucked-up issues, and they got out of control tonight. It won’t happen again.”

The hurt doesn’t disappear from her eyes, and honestly, I didn’t expect it to. But when she nods, I feel the tight hold on my gut loosen a bit.