Chapter Twenty:
Drunken Bananas
Nervousness radiatedthrough me as I straightened the bouquet I’d gotten Mia and got out of my car. I’d spent so long chasing her that I knew our first date had to be both memorable and good enough for her to agree to the second, but now that I was here, I was kicking myself for what I’d chosen.
What had seemed like a brilliantly hilarious idea was now seeming more like a mistake, but I didn’t have time to back out, nor did I really want to. If Mia was who I thought she was, she’d love this more than some cheesy, stupid restaurant.
Please don’t be wrong.
I rang her doorbell and grinned like an asshole as Jago opened the door, and when his eyes dropped to the flowers I couldn’t help but laugh at his face. “Ugh! Are you in competition with yourself to see if you can top your last gross thing?”
“You know plants are living creatures, Jago,” I responded, shielding the Monkey Face Orchids from him with my free hand. “They can hear you. Don’t call the poor things gross.”
“Yup. Definitely in competition. Tiá! Tu novio está aquí! I’m not letting him in our house. The flowers have faces!”
“What?” Mia sounded out of breath as she reached the bottom of the stairs and I forgot all about the flowers and Jago and breathing as a whole when I saw her.
She was in a blue summer dress that hugged her curves perfectly, her gorgeous breasts calling to me in every inappropriate way, and I had to struggle to keep my jaw from hitting the floor.
“Pizza is already here. Go set up the game for Rio, Jago. Thank you for watching h— why are they looking at me, Ollie?”
I melted, handing them over like a teenager greeting his prom date. “They’ll make sense later. I was gonna go with the Naked Man Orchids but thought bringing you flowers with dicks was inappropriate, then considered Hooker’s Lips cause I know those are a sign of affection in Central America, but I didn’t know if you’d smack me or not. So here—” I pushed them a little closer to her “— Monkey Face Orchids.”
“Monkeys?” She eyed them warily and had the nerve to cover their faces when she leaned in to whisper, “Is this because you’re a baboon in the room?”
“I don’t honestly know whether to take that as a compliment or not.” I huffed, pulling them back to me. “If you don’t want them, that’s fine. I’ll keep them. But you’ll miss their weird little faces one day.”
“No. They’re mine.” She slapped my hand and took them back, an amused smile overtaking her face. “Thank you for my weird monkey flowers ... and the baboon thing was a compliment, baby. We didn’t break that drywall for nothing. Dame beso.”
I kissed her quickly then relaxed as she disappeared into the house to put the orchids in a vase, then took her arm to escort her to the car. “We’re good for the night, right?”
“Maybe. I think I need another kiss.” She crossed her arms and waited, only to melt into my arms when I gave her what she’d asked for. “Gracias. Yes, I’m yours tonight, Oliver Bishop. Dinora is already almost home and Jago is there, too. It’s just us.”
Not laughing when I thought of how she was going to react to the itinerary was hard but worth it as we tossed her bag into the trunk, got into the car, and headed toward our first destination. “We’re staying in a different hotel, by the way. Did you bring enough things with you?”
“Yes. Gonna steal your clothes anyway.” Mia reached over to take my hand. “Are you going to give me a hint?”
I licked my lips slowly. “Technically, I already did.”
“Monkeys? A zoo? Baby, I’m in a dress. What if a monkey lifts it up?”
“Smart fucking monkey, but you’re mine. I’m not above spanking a few monkeys, Mia. But no, we don’t have to worry about that. It’s not a zoo, nowhere outside, and doesn’t involve any live animals except for humans. But I’ll spank a human if they lift your dress, too,” I promised, kissing her hand. “Just trust me when I tell you it’ll be a good time.”
“I trust you. But I trust you to do crazy stuff,” she chuckled, eyeing me like she was trying to read my mind. “Monkeys... hmm...”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t crazy,” I reminded her. “I said it would be a good time.”
I dodged her questions the whole way to the hotel, then called an Uber to take us to the first stop. I’d at least told her we’d be drinking so I wouldn’t be springing that on her if she wasn’t okay with it, but honestly, I was impressed with myself for not ruining the entire thing.
It helped that I was still a little nervous, but hey. She knew what she signed up for.
When that Uber arrived, I still refused to tell her where we were going, so when we pulled up in front of a bar called The Barrel Horse, she laughed softly. “Don’t tell me, Monkeys in a Barrel is going to be a drink here?”
“Probably not, but remember that,” I said with a wider grin. “You got the connection, at least.”
I couldn’t hide it from her once we were inside and the rest of our little troupe was gathered around the bar. Damn near all of them were wearing bright yellow shirts that said “Banana Bar Crawl” with a depiction of a man riding a banana like a horse, and I sheepishly pulled one out of my back pocket and unrolled it. “Scale of one to ten, how fast will you get an Uber home if I put this on?”
“Five seconds? Depends on my signal.” She checked her phone with a barely-concealed grin and then put it in my pocket to hold. “They’re all booked. Go ahead and look ridiculous. You’ll blend right in, Banana Huevos.”