Loan Shark Love

He starts to thrust harder into me, faster and more intense, holding onto me for support. He’s pounding into me while pressing kisses to my neck and murmuring that he loves me so much as he chases his high. The both of us are moaning so loudly, so close to coming undone together, I squeeze myself around him as I lose myself to its pleasure, and I know my nails must leave trails on his back.

This man has me so tangled in his love, so deeply embedded in my feelings for him, that I can only think of his pleasure. I want him to feel good because of me.

It’s amazing to have a man like Grey be so in love with me that my very presence makes him want me. The insecurities that once plagued me no longer take root in my mind, Grey has taken their place, keeping me confident.

Grey’s release dawns just after my own, and he stays buried inside of me after. He can’t seem to let me go, and I don’t want to stop touching him either.

Our arms are tightly wound around each other’s bodies, holding onto each other for dear life like it’s the end of the world. His head rests on mine, our chests rising and falling together in unison.

We are one, Grey and me, forever and always.

MONTHS LATER

Grey

Holding my son in my arms has to be the greatest feeling in the world.

Besides holding his mother in my arms, of course.

Ryder Kingston is beautifully perfect and tiny, wrapped and swaddled in yellow blankets where he sleeps in my arms. The whirring and beeping of the hospital are background noises to my quiet moment with our child.

Rosie is sleeping on the hospital bed, her face turned into the pillow. She looks pale, her hair soft, in a limp braid, but she’s the most beautiful sight I have ever witnessed.

I’m so proud of her, and my eyes burn with joyful tears as I remember watching her bring our baby into the world, giving him new life and letting him meet us for the first time.

“My love,” I whisper, reaching over to tuck the loose strands of her hair behind her ear. “I would be nothing without you now, my Rosie.”

I searched for the thing that would bring me peace and happiness all of my life. I wanted things that I shouldn’t and needed things that I couldn't have or at least thought I couldn’t have. Rose is the warmth that chased the cold from my nightmares, and she’s the sunlight, bathing me in the golden beauty of her soft curves.

I know that I will never get enough of her body and her pretty face but most of all her love.

She sleeps peacefully, and I wonder if she knows how much she means to me. I wonder if she feels my love as I hold our newborn son.

Ryder makes a soft sound and his little face screws into a tiny grimace. His eyes are blue for now, but I can already see the slow crawl of whiskey brown across the round irises. Like mine, his hair is dark, but I muse that it might lighten to a soft, strawberry blonde.

What a thing that would be, for him to have my face, but her pretty features. It feels so strange to have something like this in my life, something so awe-inspiring and lovely that it covers everything else. Whatever bad there was in my life has been brushed away, wiped clean by Rosie’s love for me.

Somehow, Rose has taken every version of me that I resented and wanted to forget, and she’s made them her own. I want a lifetime in her embrace, and I am a better man because of her. I feel as if I’ve been searching for her since the beginning of time, and I never really knew love in its entirety until I met her.

How could I have gone my whole life without her in it?

It’s strange to remember the days before Rose came into my world, using her mother’s maiden name, so I never knew who she really was. It’s odd how circumstances bring people together and how two people will always find one another.

Sam was just a precursor to Rose, and I was always meant to be at her side.

I would give everything else up just to be with her, and I did. My only regret is that the two of us didn’t meet each other even sooner so that we would have more time together. My soul is complete now that Rose has made a home in my heart and will be forever by my side.

She is my heart and my everything.

All of the good in my life is because of you, Rosie.

Little Ryder is what makes me want to be even better than I am. I want to be a man that he’s proud to call father, as his mother calls me husband.