At the engagement party, her father never referred to me as “son.” He called me a coffee prince.
To him, she was a bargaining chip, an expendable thing to secure more clout and money and connections.
Is that what ended her life? Being locked into this dreary disappointment she could never walk away from? Being stuck with me?
My gut churns, and I wonder for the ten thousandth time if I’m the reason why she’s gone.
Of course, the official reports said otherwise.
The local police chief settled on a tragic accident within days and never looked back. The detectives always frowned on the suicide theory, though it was possible.
My fist slaps the ground next to me so hard it vibrates up my arm.
Fuck it.
Waiting around for the first heavy beads of rain to slap my neck isn’t doing me any favors.
The rain thickens, but I’m back inside the house before it starts pouring.
With everyone in their rooms or out sightseeing, it’s eerily quiet.
I gaze around the family room, full of priceless antiques and old mementos Aster bought on this trip or that over a decade ago.
I never asked the staff to change anything during our absence.
Maybe that’s the problem.
Everything’s left in place like a depressing time capsule. Aster’s presence is still alive, frozen in her bygone style.
My heart sinks and I huff out a disgusted snort.
Even in paradise with unlimited money, I couldn’t keep her happy.
Our marriage was atrociously shallow.
We looked good together. We made people jealous.
I brought a beautiful woman who was a billionaire in her own right to every business function I had, and we had a passable physical connection.
It just never went further.
It was never love.
It was never what she wanted—and then her life ended.
As horribly as it is, I’ll always be grateful for one thing.
Destiny.
Whenever anyone asks—which they didn’t until Troy stuck his nose in things—she’s also my excuse. I’ve never dated again because it would be hard on my daughter.
No matter how she’d deny it, it’s true. Imagine seeing your mother’s body washed up on the beach and then watching your father start a new life.
I could never protect my family and keep it whole.
I couldn’t give Aster the life she craved.
Who the fuck knows if I could ever make any woman truly happy.
Especially women who are already intimately involved in my work life and up in my face. An unworkable polar opposite, regardless of whether or not she aches for me like I do for her.
“Cole?”
Katelyn’s voice startles me. I whip around, nearly knocking a tall antique vase off a mantle as I do. I catch the bastard thing—just in time—and place it back where it belongs.
“Sorry. I was just—fuck,” I stammer, thrown off my game.
She nods, offering a knowing smile.
“This is the first time you’ve been back here, isn’t it?”
I’m still rattled, though I’m not sure it’s visible to anyone but me.
I hope it isn’t.
I sit down on the couch, safely away from any priceless artifacts.
“You know it is,” I mutter.
“I heard Destiny doesn’t want to go to the beach,” she says quietly. “Between a teenager who loves sea creatures so much she avoids the ocean, and you staring into the void, I put two and two together. If this is hard, Mr. Lancaster...it’s okay. Don’t feel embarrassed.” She smiles sadly. “I have to let you know, I was in the hall and overheard you and Troy talking...”
I bury my face in my hands with a defeated sigh.
What the hell else can go wrong today?
“I told him to cut the crap. He shouldn’t be talking about employees the way he—”
“Honestly? I think he was right. Not the unprofessional guy talk, but the way he called you out.” She clears her throat. “I saw you coming up the hill yesterday with Eliza. You looked like you were having fun with her. That’s good.”
“Not good, Kate. She’s an employee and the key to why we’re here,” I snap. It’s automatic.
Thankfully, she’s had well over a decade of dealing with me.
“Oh, I agree. But Seattle is full of beautiful women. It’s been ten years and you haven’t found anyone. You can’t let optics scare you away from a good thing. If it’s meant to be, then—”
“I’m not having this conversation,” I growl, tugging at my collar.
She’s quiet, staring, and I hate that it came out so acrid.
“With all due respect, I taught your daughter how to wear a tampon. I’m not sure this is the most awkward conversation we’ve ever had.”
My eyes flick to the wood ceiling and back again as I let out a rolling sigh.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know—”
“I did.” She smiles. “And if anything ever happens to Patrick, I expect you to pick up the slack with my boys.”
I nod sincerely.
“Fair enough.” That sobers me up fast. “I’m a decent father, just a shitty husband. And Aster—maybe she saw death as her only way out of the misery.”