But Duncan, who was clearly used to being in charge and had zero issues being bossy, kept resisting my efforts to be nice. I couldn’t figure out why I liked him so much, but I did. I liked his integrity, his dedication to his work, and his story about his teacher at boarding school had touched something deep inside me. He’d told me to write a song about the teacher, but it was Duncan himself who seemed to keep inspiring my poetic inclinations.
So I didn’t let his prickly ass walk on out and go away to inevitably beat himself up for the hottest experience of my life.
“No, I’m inviting you to stay.”
“Oh.” Duncan twisted his mouth, continuing to give off put-out vibes but at least stopping his sprint toward his bag.
“Consider me a full-service fuck.” I grinned at him, going for humor instead of admitting I wasn’t ready for him to go. And it wasn’t simply that I hated being alone. I wanted more of Duncan, specifically, which was something I didn’t want to examine too closely. “Not only do I offer orgasms, but I also won’t let you go wallow in regrets when we still have a couple of hours until sound check.”
“I’m not—”
“Can it.” I held up a hand to cut off his protest. “You are having all the regrets. I can practically hear your brain lecturing yourself.”
“Well, you have to agree that was a massive mistake.” After walking the rest of the way to his bag, he removed a fresh set of clothes.
“Oh?” Duncan wasn’t the only one who could find an officious tone. I wasn’t agreeing to a damn thing, and I gave him a harsh look as he pulled on his clothes. “You’d really rather have skipped that? Because I’m pretty sure that was you begging me to—”
“Okay, okay, it was good. Is that what you want to hear?” He buttoned his shirt. I was starting to suspect that he didn’t own a single plain T-shirt.
“No, what I want is to kick back with you, enjoy the afterglow from that merely good orgasm, watch an episode of my show, and maybe order some food.” Unlike Duncan, I didn’t feel the need to rush into getting dressed again, and I lounged against the arm of the couch in my towel.
“What you should do is sleep.”
“Like you’re going to?” I scoffed at him, then pointed to the couch. “Ha. Have a seat.”
I one hundred percent expected him to either continue to argue or simply leave, but instead, he shocked me by actually sitting on the couch.
However, being Duncan, he sat woodenly at attention. “Fine.”
“This isn’t a firing squad, Lieutenant.” I flopped down next to him, bumping his shoulder as I got comfortable. “It might shock you to hear, but I’m generally considered a pretty fun person to hang out with.”
“You are.” He exhaled hard, leaning back. “It’s not your fault I overthink every damn thing.”
Before he could do exactly that, I queued up the show I was addicted to on the TV’s streaming service. “Well, no time like the present to stop. This is a concert tour, not rocket science.”
“Every mission is an essential one.” He sounded like he was quoting some inspirational poster, but he was earnest enough to make me feel like I was attempting to corrupt a Medal of Honor winner.
“I get that.” I patted his meaty shoulder. “And you’re admirable, truly. But you have to be able to stand down sometimes, right?”
“It’s not that easy.” He stretched toward my touch, the same way he had in the shower, almost unconsciously. Duncan was the most touch-starved person I’d ever met, and he made me want to snuggle him until he finally relaxed and let himself have the things he wanted most. As I rubbed his shoulder, he continued, “I learned the hard way to always be on my guard with the older bullies at school. And out in the field, there’s no such thing as a cupcake assignment. Danger might be less, but relaxing too much is a recipe for someone getting injured or worse.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make light.” I dug my thumb into a granite-like knot at the base of his neck. He humbled me, made me aware of exactly how good I had it where we could kick back when a gig was over and not have to worry. Duncan hadn’t had that luxury. “I just meant you’re a good guy, and I wish you weren’t so hard on yourself. You need to give yourself a break every once in a while. Even God rested on the seventh day and all that.”
“Ha. I’m not God. I know that. I’ve known plenty of SEALs with a God or Superman complex. That’s not me. I’m a team player all the way.” He cocked his head so I could knead more of his neck muscles and made a pleased noise as I continued. He turned his attention toward the episode. I’d seen this one before and liked it. The paramedic crew was called to a multi-injury car crash, resulting in lots of adrenaline and tense moments. We watched for a few minutes before Duncan pointed at the set. “See how those EMTs are working together? That’s a team. If someone goes rogue and thinks they can do it all themselves, it’s not going to work out well for anyone. No team wants someone who thinks they’re a god.”