“I thought first responders and military always take care of their own?”
“Maybe once upon a time, but way too often, that’s not the case at all.” He gave me an absent squeeze, almost like he was checking that I was still there. His chest rose and fell under my head as he huffed a tense breath. “I’ve seen plenty of people tied up by all the red tape or cut loose with little more than a pat on the head.”
“That’s terrible.” Glancing at the screen, I saw the drama through new eyes, the massive implications even a simple injury could have for someone who relied on their physicality for the job.
“And that’s why starting this company matters to me. I always had the safety net of my dad. I might not like the guy, but I can’t deny that I had options most don’t.”
“I get that.” I stroked the hand he had resting on my chest. “You’re trying to give back. I also like to do things that help others starting out or struggling.”
“Sometimes help isn’t enough.” Duncan tensed under me, his torso going rigid. “It’s not only missions where I’ve lost buddies and subordinates. We’ve lost too many good people that the system failed. I can’t be a leader and ignore that reality. I owe it to the personnel who were there for me.”
His tone was so passionate that there had to be a story there. I gentled my voice. “Who did you lose?”
“Jimbo, best bomb expert I ever saw.” His tone went distant but passionate, emotion underscoring each word. “Saved my ass more than once. But all it takes is one unlucky wire. He got injured on a clusterfuck of a mission. Then there was a mess of disability paperwork. Divorce in there too. Predictable downward spiral. Pulling away from friends. Inadequate resources. Just one story in dozens I know of personally. Casualties don’t only come out in the field. And I reached a point after Jimbo where I couldn’t keep ignoring that.”
“Wow.” I whistled as I squeezed his arms tighter around me like I could hold him to me, keep him safe, absorb some of his pain. “I’m sorry. I know that sounds trite. But I’m sorry for your loss. And the world’s. It sucks. I’m glad you’re doing something about it.”
“Trying.” He dropped a kiss on the top of my head, such a little thing, but it made me want to hear every story he had, offer whatever comfort I could.
“That’s all any of us can do.” I wished I had better wisdom, but all I could do was hold him close through the end of the episode, cheering along with him as the injured EMT returned to the job. We started another episode, but it wasn’t half over before a knock sounded at the door.
“It’s Kate,” she called out, and I stood with a groan.
“Darn. Playtime is over, and we didn’t even get seconds.” For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t ready to go. Hanging out with Duncan had been the break I hadn’t realized I needed, and I wanted a little more before I had to perform. But Kate’s schedule and the audience wouldn’t wait, so I headed for the door.
“Hell.” Standing, Duncan looked like he’d taken a pie to the face. “I never made it to my room. Hell.”
“Calm yourself,” I ordered in a whisper. “Look less stricken. As far as anyone else needs to know, you’re here to discuss security. No biggie.”
“Oh yeah. That works.” He kicked his bag behind a chair and managed to look marginally less alarmed before I opened the door to let Kate in.
“Hey.” She was fresh and chipper in a red polo with our tour logo and carried her ever-present clipboard. After I shut the door, she nodded at Duncan. “Oh, and hi, Duncan. Good, you’re here too. The bus is almost ready to load up to head to the sound check. You ready?”
“Sure.” And just like that, the sensitive, funny, caring guy I’d been hanging out with was replaced with Duncan’s all-business exterior. Even his posture changed as he stood straighter and his voice became more confident. “I’ve got my security plan ready to review.”
“Of course, you do.” Kate laughed, and if she found anything weird about him being in my room, she wasn’t showing it as she smiled easily at him. “That’s what I like about you. You’re prepared. We need more people around here who know what they’re doing.”
“Hey.” I faked outrage at her joke, then cocked my head in Duncan’s direction. “The lieutenant’s gonna save the world one big plan at a time.”
Duncan’s mouth quirked like I’d revealed his preference in underwear or something else super personal. Damn it. Apparently, I wasn’t allowed to tease him where others could hear. It wasn’t that I wanted to broadcast that we’d gotten off together, but I didn’t see any harm in acting friendly. Duncan, however, took a literal step away from me, professional persona firmly in place.