“Fair enough.” There was really nothing else for me to say. All I could do was hope the day got better from here and I hadn’t completely trashed one of my oldest and most important friendships.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Duncan
I'd had naked stress dreams before, ones about being somewhere public and inconvenient or dangerous with no clothes or weapons. But I'd never imagined a scenario quite like my friends finding Ezra at my place. And when Cash shooed me away to get dressed, I couldn't move fast enough. An arctic parka might not be enough coverage for how exposed I felt.
I absolutely hated disappointing people, and I'd known neither Cash nor Harley would be jumping with joy, but actually seeing the censure in their eyes was enough to put me off eating forever. Especially when Cash caught sight of me emerging from my bedroom and pointed authoritatively at a chair near the food.
“Eat.”
“I'm not—” Pausing, I glanced over at the kitchen area where Danny and Ezra were having a heated conversation. Nope. I didn't want to be there either, so I sat but didn't take food, clamping my mouth shut, determined to not make this worse.
Cash pushed an iced coffee at me while Harley sat stonily silent. His eyes were more sad than mad, which was worse because I could have met anger with anger. Him sad and let down after all we’d been through together simply made me feel like leftover cat food.
“So.” Cash had apparently nominated himself to do the talking. “What are your plans with Ezra?”
Harley snorted before I could answer. “I'm not thinking there was much planning or thinking, for that matter.”
“I don't know. I’m still working on a plan,” I said honestly, which wouldn't help my case here, but at least I could be truthful. “I want to be with Ezra. I thought long and hard about ending things, but at the end of the day, I'd hate myself more for giving this up. He's…special.”
“I get it.” Cash doffed my arm. “But remember when you thought your brother and I were all wrong for each other?”
“I remember.” My tone was wary because I knew where he was going with this. I’d been protective. Probably too much so. “And I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, those were fun times. And that's how Danny feels now. Worried about you and worried about his best friend and hoping neither of you is making a colossal mistake.”
“I hope so too.” I played with the straw for my drink. “I want this to work out though.”
“Very reassuring.” Harley didn't look any happier. His rugged face hardened with the same concentration he’d had on missions.
“I don't have a crystal ball.” The frustration I’d been trying to tamp down crept into my voice. “Maybe this will all blow up in our faces, but I just know I have to try.”
“Fine. I hope all that wishing and trying works out.” Pushing back from the table, Harley stood. “I’m out of here. Lost my appetite.”
“Wait.” I stood up too. “Don’t leave angry. We’ve been through too much to fight over this.”
“I would have thought we’d been through so much you might pick up a phone.” Harley stared me down.
“Fair point. I should have told you what was going on.” Sweat gathered on the back of my neck.
“Yup. Should have trusted me.” He shook his head in a way that made my stomach twist.
“I get why you’re pissed at me, but I don’t want this to ruin A-List. Or our friendship.”
“LT, you know I’d follow you down a volcano. That’s a given.” Harley sighed heavily. And like I’d told Ezra, I was always going to be the LT to him and Cash, held to a different standard than a relationship built only on friendship. “And I’m here to give A-List everything I have.”
“I know, and I appreciate that.” I tried to catch his gaze but failed.
“But I need to hit the weight room, get some reps in so I feel less like smashing shit.”
“Okay.” My voice sounded as miserable as I felt. I understood he likely needed time to process, and he deserved that space, but it still sucked, ending things on a less-than-great note.
“I’m out of here too. Linus is likely climbing the walls at home.” Danny flounced out of the kitchen, a helpless-looking Ezra trudging behind him.
“Sure,” Cash said affably as he too stood and crossed over to Danny. “Do you want to grab your coffee and a taco?”
“I’m not hungry.” Danny’s chin jutted out, the stubborn set to his eyes warning against trying to convince him otherwise. “Ezra is welcome to my coffee.”
“Danny…” Ezra held up his hands, but Danny simply shook his head and stalked to the door.
“Maybe give him time.” Cash pursed his lips as he shuffled his feet, clearly uncomfortable being caught in the middle.
“I didn’t want this to wreck things. We’ve been friends forever.” Ezra's voice was soft and more than a little dazed.