I didn’t even have the benefit of Jenna traveling with the team on the last two away games. One was in Columbus, and Brienne nixed any idea about them filming the team on the first trip back. It was going to be emotional and stressful, given that the plane crashed on the way home from a game in Columbus, and I’m glad she made that call. We had enough spotlight on us and didn’t need additional pressures.
As it happened, we ended up playing brilliantly, despite being down Coen and Jesper, and pulled out a hard-fought win. On the downside, we traveled from Columbus to DC to play the Breakers and lost that game resoundingly. On the further downside, Jenna didn’t go to that game, either, since we went straight there from Columbus.
In all, I’ve only seen her for any appreciable time on three occasions. Once I took her out to lunch when our practice schedule lined up with her schedule, once we went out to dinner, and the third time, we went out for drinks after a home game.
Lunch was fun, mainly because I was sitting in her office waiting for her to finish up before we could leave when Brienne walked by. She halted upon seeing me, backed up, and peeked her head in. I didn’t miss the knowing smirk she leveled at Jenna before turning to me in greeting. Wasn’t surprised, though, as I knew Jenna and Brienne were actually developing a bit of a bond, and I assumed that meant I was part of their conversation. I’m actually glad for it—Jenna deserves a strong support group around her. Moving to a new city is tough.
The two nights we had together were equally fun, but they ended up not extending past good-night kisses. I didn’t even go into her apartment after dinner but cut the evening short at the door. Of course, there was the passionate kiss first, which could’ve easily led to more, but I didn’t let it. Truth be told, I’m feeling a bit of guilt over how far we went in Arizona.
Or rather, how far we didn’t go.
It’s confusing. I thought I was doing the right thing—the respectful thing—by not dragging her off to bed. But then I’ve wondered in hindsight if it was disrespectful to finger her to an orgasm up against the door and not let it progress further, especially because I think she wanted it. I’ve been wondering if I have the right to decide where this goes based on my own moral code where Jenna is concerned. I feel very overprotective of her and want to make intimacy with her special. I feel like she needs special treatment, but I could be wrong.
“Gage… that’s the fourth time you’ve checked your watch in about four minutes,” Marianne says as she peels a cucumber. “You said Jenna would be here at six, so why are you checking?”
I blink at my sister. “I honestly hadn’t realized I was.”
Truth is, I’d gotten lost in thoughts about Jenna, which happens more often than not.
Marianne tips her head and gives me a sappy smile. “You really like this woman, don’t you?”
“Have you known me to introduce you to anyone else?” I counter. I mean, it should be obvious because of that alone.
“No, and when you talk about her, you get a dopey look on your face.” Marianne laughs.
Daniel nods. “Totally dopey. I think our boy is in love.”
Most men I know would deny such a thing because love is often considered weakness. I don’t deny it, but I don’t confirm it either. I don’t know what this is I feel for Jenna, but it’s incredibly strong, and I suspect she’s the one.
Maybe that’s why I’m taking things so slow. Because she’s the one, and I want it to be right and memorable and done perfectly and—
Daniel snaps his fingers in front of my face, causing me to blink. I bat his hand away as he snickers. Throwing his thumb at me, he says, “You see that, honey? He’s totally got his head in the clouds. I cannot wait to meet this woman.”
I glance at my watch again.
Twenty minutes.
“Let me ask you both something,” I say, leaning my forearms on the counter. Marianne’s knife stills as she gives me her attention, and Daniel rests an elbow on the counter, angling toward me. “How do you know…”
I stop, because this is hard to frame.
“If you want to make sure…”
No, that’s not quite right.
“If you’re starting a new relationship, and you want to…”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Gage, spit it out,” Marianne demands, waving the knife dramatically.
I’m not sure why this is so hard. Marianne and Daniel are family. Close, tight, bonded family. I can talk to them about anything, but I’m feeling all kinds of silly that I’m not sure how things should be progressing with Jenna.