Don't Give A Damn About My Plaid Reputation (Bad in Plaid 4)

She didn’t seem concerned with the feedback. “Ye want a ballad about pissing on each other?”

The men agreed whole-heartedly.

Grinning, she began to hum thoughtfully once more. Then:

“Every man here and there

Kens one important fact;

When camping in the wilds,

Ye want a fire at yer back.

But the circle of the firelight

Only goes so far.

Outside of that, a man can see

The shadows, moon, and stars.

For a bit of privacy and such,

That’s where ye want to be;

And that is why I stepped outside

For a little bit of a wee.”

As the men broke into hoots of approval and laughter, Robena raised her voice.

“How was I to possibly ken

Outside that bit of light

Was where my friend Auld Gommy

Lay his head down for the night?

The kind of tree’s important,

Ye cannae deny me this.

But I could dally nae longer;

I had to take a piss.”

Kester nearly choked on his laughter, to hear the word “piss” out of the mouth of the woman he loved. Of course, that mouth was currently topped by a fake mustache, so there was no telling what she might do.

She was grinning hugely when she continued the song.

“My shoulders wide, my legs are strong;

Like a castle I’m built.

So it took some time for me to find

And raise the hem of my kilt.