I understood that love. The deepness of it.
“They come from your body,” she continued. “They grow within you. They get life from you. And then they leave you, and they’re so fucking vulnerable, outside in the world. In an ugly world that is designed to hurt them.”
Her eyes went faraway before they refocused on me.
“But, babe, you grew her inside of you. You brought her into this world. You fed her, protected her, nurtured her. You nursed her hurts, you did all of that.”
She reached over to squeeze my hand. “That means that no one else, not even me, can tell you what decisions to make when it comes to your child. No one can tell you what the best decision is. No one can shame you once you make that decision. You earned the right to make that decision. Since the second she took root inside you, you have earned that right, Momma.”
I stared at Macy, dumbfounded by all the knowledge she’d just laid on me. The respect. The support. All of it bundled me up and gave me the clarity. Told me exactly what I needed to do.
Before I could do something embarrassing like burst into a sobbing fit, the thunder of a motorcycle drowned out my thoughts. My first, carnal reaction was excitement. That giddy kind of excitement that I’d been sure only teenagers felt before their first time, before they realized that romance and sex were constructs created by Hollywood and Hallmark.
But it was not a construct.
Hollywood and Hallmark could not create that feeling. Could not replicate it and regurgitate it to the masses.
The next feeling was nerves. At Violet and Swiss meeting.
“What if she doesn’t like him?” I asked Macy, panicky as I realized the shower was no longer running.
I’d been so lost in the conversation, I hadn’t noticed when it turned off. I really, really hoped she hadn’t overheard anything. But then the hair dryer turned on from the bedroom, and I sagged in relief.
“She’s going to like him,” Macy said confidently as the front door opened.
“Honey, I’m home,” Swiss called out as he walked in the door, a sexy smile on his face.
That smile fell the moment his eyes landed on me and Macy sitting at the breakfast bar. Swiss was on me in a handful of long strides. “What?” he demanded. “Who do I need to kill?” His hands framed my face, his expression telling me that he was totally serious. “Has that fuck done somethin’ stupid? ’Cause I know the promise I made, but if—”
“Baby,” I interrupted gently. “It’s nothing like that. Violet’s here.”
It took a second for the murderous glare to leave Swiss’s face. “She’s here?” he repeated.
I nodded once, smiling despite the cocktail of emotions racing through me.
“Fuck, do I look okay?” he asked self-consciously, looking down at the grey Henley and black jeans he was wearing.
He had on motorcycle boots and his cut, of course.
I couldn’t help but giggle at his concern about what he wore while meeting my daughter. “Yes, babe, you look great,” I told him honestly, reaching around his neck and laying a soft kiss on his lips.
Swiss’s hands went around my waist, and I melted into his embrace, my entire body calming from his presence, his scent, his warmth.
Macy cleared her throat loudly. We both looked at her, and she jerked her head in the direction of the hallway.
Where Violet was standing, dressed in a pair of my jeans and a silk cami that looked much better on her than it did on me.
And she was staring at me. And Swiss. In an embrace.
Her face was blank.
I quickly stepped out of Swiss’s arms. Or tried to. His hand curled into mine, squeezing once before letting me go.
“Honey,” I said sounding breathy, nerves eating up the single word. “This is Swiss.”
Violet regarded him shrewdly, purposefully looking him up and down. It might’ve amused me at any other moment to see Swiss move rather uncomfortably from foot to foot, something I’d never seen before.
But I was too busy freaking out, hoping that Violet wouldn’t hate him on sight, wouldn’t wrongly think that this man had somehow stolen me away from her father.