Day 3
Lennon is a sweetheart.He was concerned that someone had offended me or that I’d gotten hurt during the food fight, so he came to check on me. And Kyra, he quickly added. It wasn’t hard to see the kindness and sincerity in his eyes. He wasn’t there to try and seduce me even though, at the heart of everything, that’s what we all signed up for.
Still, I went to bed with a smile on my face last night.
It’s too bad I woke up with anger coursing through my veins after reliving the nightmare that is my life. The moment I found Wren, with that bitch, in our bed. Walking into our apartment, hearing her moans, calling his name, asking him for more.
Those are sounds I wish I could erase from my memory. I’ve tried and failed. Alcohol only numbs the pain for a few hours. I still wake up to reality. And she’s still sharing his bed.
Because apparently it wasn’t the first time he’d fucked her while we were together. It was an ongoing affair. She even knew about me. Knew I was moving in with him. Knew he was planning on starting a life with me. Yet she stayed with him after I left. The cheater. What she doesn’t realize is that he will cheat on her too eventually. It’s who he is. He’ll get bored and move on.
At least, that’s what he told me. That he was bored. That our relationship had lost its spark. Life for us had become monotonous, and he wanted more excitement.
Basically, the thrill of being with another woman, of sneaking around and potentially getting caught, was what turned him on. What lit a fire inside him. I wasn’t enough for him anymore.
Shaking away the negative thoughts, the feelings of hate and resentment, I begin brewing a pot of coffee and study the schedule for today. It’s almost noon. I need to start getting ready, physically and mentally, for this afternoon scheduled activities.
They’re separating us. Girls are expected to be together all afternoon, either at the pool or the garden by our villas. No boys allowed. They’ll be on the opposite side of the property, in the game room or near their villas. After four o’clock, we’re free to do as we please.
What am I going to do with five other girls for three hours?
Why am I even asking myself that question? I already know the answer. We’re going to talk about the guys. Bond over who’s the cutest. Who we think is the sexiest. Who we’d like a chance to roll in the sheets with.
Someone will get jealous.
Someone will turn into a bitch.
We’ll all start judging each other, and there will be more drama than I’m up for.
Because drama makes for good television.
Something I wish I could avoid considering the amount of drama I have in my regular life. But I have to go.
It’s on the schedule.
And I have to participate.
I can already tell who’s going to play which part. They’ve all made their personalities known at this point. Even if they think they haven’t. It’s the little things they can’t hide. The way they undress the guys with their eyes. The looks they give when they think no one is looking, to both the guys and the other girls. Especially the other girls.
Teegan is the temptress. She’ll tease each of them to stay in the game as long as she can, but there’s only one she’s going to sleep with. I haven’t figured out who that’s going to be yet, but there will be one.
Natasha seems to be kind of promiscuous. And not in the good way. She been practically draping herself all over a few of the guys since we got here. She’ll end up sleeping with at least two of them in the hopes they vote to keep her here. I understand her plan, but I can also see it blowing up in her face. Guys talk, more so than girls sometimes. Especially about sex. In a setting like this, their topics of conversation are limited. Which means they’ll be talking about us.
Kyra, she’s going to be the quiet one. Even after our conversation last night, I don’t see her opening up a ton to the guys. This is going to be a challenge for her, but she promised me she would try. Not for me, but for the ultimate goal that awaits her when she leaves here. She’s not interested in hooking up or falling in love. She has her eye on the money. The longer she’s here, the more money she’ll get.
Bella is a bit of a mystery to me still. She’s not as quiet as Kyra but not as open as some of the girls. She’s a good mix of sweet and sexy. I feel like she’ll open up more in a private setting than in a group setting. Get her alone and she’ll tell you her deepest, darkest secrets. She just doesn’t want them publicized.
Too bad the entire world will know everything after this is all over. If the details are juicy enough anyway.
Courtney is probably my favorite of the girls so far. She’s a bit of a ditz but God love her. She has a huge heart and came to play the game. She’s not only after the money, but she’s ready to have some fun. I think her sights are set on falling in love more than they are on a quick fling. Still, the way she was looking at Callen last night has me wondering if I’m off the mark.
Then there’s little ole me. The girl who still can’t figure out how she got talked into this. The one who has no intentions of falling in love on this show but isn’t really ready to jump in bed with another man yet either. I know I need to play the game, and my ultimate goal is the money, but I’m scared as hell. Scared I’ll actually connect with one of these guys and his intentions aren’t pure. What then?
Walk away more hurt than I arrived? Yeah, not interested.
So I’m going to take it day by day. See how it goes. If I get sent home, so be it. If I’m here until the end, that’s awesome. The prize money will allow me to start fresh and get my life back on track, and my heart will be intact.
That’s what I call a win-win.