How can you know someone well enough after only a few days that you’re okay sleeping with them? In the woods. With the potential of a camera being around you somewhere. Or getting caught by one of ten other people.
The answer is you can’t.
She has no idea who Milo is. Not really.
She knows he’s attractive. He seems to be a nice guy. It’s not enough to jump in bed with someone, or in the leaves. Not in my opinion.
Maybe my standards are too high. Maybe I expect too much.
I’m here for the lust, not the love, I remind myself, snuggling into the couch only to be disturbed again by knocking on my door.
What the hell is this? Why is everyone bothering me? Can’t a girl get a moment alone?
“What?” I ask, jerking the door open with more force than necessary to find a startled Lennon on the other side.
“Um, okay.”
“Sorry. I’m not mad at you I just... What’s up?”
“I was going to see if you wanted to go for a walk and talk?”
God, he really is sweet. He’s not trying to get in my pants or staring at me with sinful intentions the way Jace does. Not that I mind the looks Jace normally gives me. They send shivers up my spine.
Lennon is different, though. The looks he gives me are pure and sincere, and he wants more than I can give him because he is the one person that’s in this for love and nothing less.
“Honestly,” I start, not sure how to let him down easy, so I go for the truth instead of making up an excuse. It feels like he deserves that at least. “I’m tired. My feet hurt from walking all day. All I really want to do is relax with a cup of coffee and a book.”
“Would you like some company?” he asks.
I expect him to raise an eyebrow at me or wink. Give me a sign that he’s offering more than his words. More than company in the literal sense. He doesn’t, and that’s the only reason I invite him in. The only reason I offer him coffee as he browses the bookshelves.
“Your villas are a lot nicer than ours,” he notes as he pulls a book from the shelf, flipping it over to read the back. “We don’t have our very own libraries.”
After I carefully hand him his coffee, he takes a seat in the chair while I snuggle back into my spot on the sofa. “It’s a lot nicer than I thought it would be. I was expecting a one-room apartment with mirrors on the ceilings and spotlights in every corner.”
The laugh that booms from Lennon’s chest is infectious. Before long, we’re both laughing hysterically as we share what we thought this place would be like. His vision was a little tamer than mine. I mean, I figured instead of a fitness center there would be a sex room, complete with whips and chains. You know, a little BDSM for the camera.
“If that was the case, I would have walked away long ago,” he says, standing and moving to the kitchen, rinsing out his mug. I watch as he looks at the single picture I put on the fridge, before turning around, a huge smile on his face.
“I see you got my flowers,” he notes, nodding in the direction of the bouquet that was left on my porch yesterday.
“Yes,” I say, attempting to hide my surprise. “They’re beautiful.”
“Just like you,” he whispers, his eyes never leaving mine.
Lennon leaves without another word but I have a feeling that’s not the last I’m going to hear from him. He made his play known. He likes me. I had a feeling, but now it’s confirmed.
Between Lennon and Jace, my hands are going to be full. The rest of the guys are nice, but I’m not interested, and I don’t juggle well. Not in life and not men.
I’m going to have to decide sooner rather than later who I’m going to set my sights on because if I want to win the game, I can’t have both of them.
Do I want lust? Have Jace until he gets bored and moves on like Wren did?
Or do I want to risk it all on love? Let Lennon in and see what happens?
I’m so screwed right now.
Naomi is going to get a kick out of this when I tell her. Mainly because I’m not laughing right now. It’s day four, and I’m already invested in the game. A game I was only playing for the money. I swore up and down that nothing was going to come of this, that I wouldn’t let fake TV influence me, and yet here I am.
Flipping a coin.
Vying for two guys.
Ready to do whatever it takes to win all while hoping I don’t lose a piece of myself in the process.
It’s not the money or the show influencing me... it’s the guys. The way they look at me, as if I’m the most precious woman on Earth. Like they’ve already won because we’ve spent a few days together. And as beautiful of a sentiment as that is, it’s not enough for me to risk it all. They’re going to have to work for it.
Game on.