Love or Lust (LOL): Part 3

Day 34

It’s been foreversince I remember taking this long to pick out something to wear. Especially here. If I’m not in my swimsuit or a gown, I’m in yoga pants and a T-shirt.

I can’t go anywhere.

I see the same people every day.

They’ve seen me without makeup on. The entire world has.

So why am I so concerned with how I look this morning? With which outfit I put on?

Because I haven’t seen Jace in more than twenty-four hours, and I want him to be knocked on his ass and thinking about me when Bella kisses him.

Not that I think she’s a threat to what we have.

Nope. That would be Teegan. But even she’s not a threat.

And I’m getting all worked up, nervous, the longer it takes me to pick something out to wear, so I do the one thing I know will settle me down.

I call Naomi.

It’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I miss her.

“She finally calls,” she says in lieu of a standard hey or hello.

“She does.”

There’s a short pause before she jumps on me.

“What’s wrong? I can hear it in your voice.”

And then I start rambling on about not being able to find something to wear. Wanting to impress Jace. Realizing he’s the one I want to be with. How Lennon kissed me the other night and I felt something, but it wasn’t what I was expecting.

All things I’ve told her before but feel the need to get off my chest. Because I’m freaking the hell out and she’s not here to calm me down.

By the time I’m done, Naomi is laughing so hard and so loud I have to pull the phone away from my ear.

“Girl, you’re in love with him. That’s why you care. Just chill out. You know he already likes you. I doubt he’s going to care what you wear. Hell, he’d probably vote for you to show up naked if you asked him.”

And now I’m laughing. Because she has a point.

If I gave Jace the option, he’d choose naked every time.

“What do I do?”

“You throw on the first outfit you see and go say hello to your man.”

“Not about that. I think I do love him, Naomi. And this is almost over. What then?”

I’ve been thinking more and more about what happens next for us. Can we make a long-distance relationship work? Do I want to try? Does he? Should I move to Miami, or is it too soon? Is that too big a step for us?

Every time I start to think about it, I get depressed, so I stop thinking about it. The last thing I want is to spend the little time we have left worrying about what may or may not happen. I want to live in the moment. Enjoy his company.

“You haven’t talked about it?”

“He may have mentioned something about a job for me in Miami. That he wants me in his life, but I’m not sure how much of that is because he’s caught up in the moment or because that’s what he really wants.”

“What do you want?”