Which would normally excite me. I enjoy being massaged. My toes are in desperate need of a pedicure, and my hair could use a touch-up. And I like Bella, I really do, but I also know I’m being pampered for either Lennon or Milo, not for Jace. Not for myself. It’s to impress the masses for the final week of taping. For the final showdown.
Me versus Bella.
Milo versus Lennon.
The competition has always felt real, but this morning the intensity is weighing on me more than it has thus far. I don’t like it. I don’t want to lose friends over a stupid game.
“Are you ready?” Bella asks as she steps through my open door. The cool morning air coming through my window was so refreshing I opened the door and left it that way after I showered and dressed.
“Yup,” I reply with fake enthusiasm.
“The car’s out front. We have a full day ahead of us according to the schedule. First up... a mud bath.” I can hear the excitement in her voice. Bella is able to find the joy in anything and everything. It’s one of the things I love about her the most.
She doesn’t dwell on the negative, only focuses on the positive. For instance, the fact we are being pampered today instead of the fact we’re looking haggard and the show wants us to look our best.
She reads over our schedule on the short drive to the spa. Breaking down our day by the minute. Her enthusiasm almost too much to bear. As soon as we’re neck-deep in mud, she finally quiets down for a few minutes and lets herself enjoy the moment.
“I really am sorry Jace is gone. I hope you know that. I was hoping it would be Lennon and Jace left here with you and me.”
Even though we both have our eyes covered with cucumbers, I still smile at her. “Thank you. I was hoping the same.”
“Not that Milo is a bad guy,” she starts to backtrack. “It’s just, I know you and Jace have a thing, and Lennon and I, well, we maybe sort of have something, I don’t know.”
“Maybe? Sort of? What’s going on with you two? You looked awfully into it when you were making out instead of watching the movie.”
“Yeah, I was.”
“Wasn’t he?”
“I don’t know. I mean, yeah. He was, but at the same time, I kind of feel like I’m competing with you still. I love you, don’t get me wrong. I get why he likes you. I just don’t know if this can go anywhere if he’s hung up on you. Now that Jace is gone, I guess I’ll find out where he stands.”
I can hear the fear in her voice. Of Lennon choosing me over her. Of losing him the last week of the competition. She’s invested in what they have, in how she feels, even if she won’t fully admit it to herself. For multiple reasons. Me being the main one but also because it’s still new. It’s not like they’ve had a thing since the beginning.
For her sake, I hope Lennon is vying for her and not me at the end of this.
If he chooses me, everyone loses.
“Stay positive. We still have an entire week to get through, and you and I both know how quickly things can change around here.”
My words strike deep. They couldn’t be further from the truth. One minute, I’m wrapped in Jace’s warm embrace, talking about our potential future. The next... he’s gone without a word. No explanation.
I have no idea where we stand right now.
I want to believe nothing has changed except our locations. It’s hard to think otherwise, but I’d be stupid to not proceed with caution. Time apart may change the way he feels.
Or maybe it’s the fact I know he’s with the rest of the eliminated contestants that has me worried.
Teegan has another chance to get her claws in him. Without the cameras rolling. Without the watchful eye of producers.
Without me standing in her way.
After showering off the mud, spending some quality time in the sauna, and an hour-long massage, I’m ready for the day to be over. All I want is a nap and a glass of wine. Or two. But we’re only about halfway through our excursion. Next up... mani-pedis and a facial. After that, we’re getting our hair done.
They’ve separated me and Bella, and I was excited for the reprieve and quiet time until the nail tech starts asking me questions. That’s when it becomes apparent that our separation was intentional.
Well, her questions and the camera pointed at my face. Or rather the thick, sticky substance they smeared all over my face a few minutes ago.
“I was sorry to see Jace was sent home. I know you two had a thing going on. Who are you going to go after now?” she asks but doesn’t give me a chance to answer before she continues, “I’d pick Lennon. He’s the perfect picture of tall, dark, and handsome. A little mysterious too. He seems like the strong silent type.”