Love or Lust (LOL): Part 3

Day 38

Naomi talkedme into hanging out with the other contestants last night. She didn’t want me to be alone. To sulk. Which is what I had planned to do.

Me, a bottle of wine, and the DVD of The Notebook Jace left behind. Because why not torture myself?

Instead, I shared a bottle of tequila with Milo, and I’m paying the price for it today.

With Jace not around to mix our drinks, we opted for shots. One led to two, and then suddenly the bottle was half gone and I wasn’t feeling much of anything, let alone sad.

We cranked up the music, danced like fools, stripped out of our clothes, and dove into the pool. All four of us, though from what I remember, Lennon and Bella were more in control of their actions than Milo and I were. We played a game of chicken, Bella on Milo’s shoulder and me on Lennon’s. Of course, no one really won. As soon as Bella and I started attempting to push each other over, we both fell in the water.

I had a great time.

And if it didn’t feel like someone was jackhammering my brain right now, I’d say let’s do it again.

Since that’s not the case, I’m going to lie on the sofa with my eyes closed, sip water, and let the scent of Jace’s “feelings for me” surround me.

I wasn’t planning on saying anything about the flowers to anyone else, but once the liquor was flowing, my lips got a little loose. Instead of showing my gratitude for the elaborate gesture, my irritation at not receiving red roses was spotlighted.

Bella tried to talk me down, but I was irate at one point. Which led to more shots. Which lead to more bitching from me.

Seriously, though. Why not red? He sent me every other color, but not red.

Letting out a low growl, I slowly open my eyes, allowing them to adjust to the bright light filtering in through the blinds and stare at the orange roses across the room.

Week five.

Passion.

Yeah, we had passion last week. Lots of it. I finally gave a piece of myself to him. He already had my heart, and then I gave him my body. The spark between us ignited faster than dry kindling. It was the only piece of the puzzle that was missing.

Do I regret it?

Not a chance. I’d do it all over again.

The sex anyway.

My heart... that’s still up for debate.

Naomi’s words echo in my mind as the thought fades away.

He’s not Wren. He’s proved that.

Yeah, yeah. I know. I get it. He didn’t leave me by choice.

That doesn’t mean I’m not hurt. That whatever he did to get kicked off doesn’t piss me off.

Reaching for my bottle of water, I take a small sip before sucking in a deep breath and letting it out. I’ve wasted the day away lying on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I need to get up and start getting ready for my date with Lennon tonight. I should be excited, but I can’t even force a smile at the moment.

Standing too quickly, I reach for the arm of the sofa to steady myself.

Maybe I’m still drunk?

Nothing a shower and another dose of aspirin won’t cure. Maybe some coffee and toast.

I’m wrapping my hair in a towel when there’s a knock at the door. Quickly twisting it on my head and wrapping another towel around my body, I make my way to the front door and when I open it, I’m surprised to find Claudia standing there with a huge smile on her face instead of her usual scowl.

Too bad I’m not excited to see her or I might fake a smile to rival hers. Instead, I stare her straight in the eyes and wait for her to speak.