Ain't No Sunshine

Chapter Eighteen

Nate

I’msittingatthe bar when I notice her walk in. My sunshine. God, I miss her. The last week’s been hell. No matter how many times I replay what happened, I can’t seem to figure out a way for it not to end like it did. Something tells me it was inevitable from the start.

When Emily returned home after dropping Cory off, I’d pulled her into my room and demanded she talk. I didn’t get much out of her, except that Cory was flying home and Summer would be there to meet her. I took comfort in knowing she had her best friend.

Mom was the next to cop an earful. I let her get away with a lot, but in this case, I should have been more vocal. We nearly lost her when I was young. Someone randomly attacked her one night, and she wound up in hospital. It was a long time before she returned to being the woman before the attack. In fact, I’m not sure she ever did. Either way, I’ve tried hard to never get angry or upset with her, to never cause conflict, and I think that’s affected me more than I realize. The things she said to Cory… Ugh! It makes me angry just thinking about it. There’s no excuse for it.

My eyes flash back to Cory, because if anything can calm my thoughts, it’s her. Seeing her here, at Riley’s Bar, tonight, was the furthest thing from my mind. I assumed she’d be avoiding this place, avoiding me. Other than the Ball House, this is where the football team, me included, spend most of our time. Knowing she’s here, that she came, even though I’d likely be here, gives me hope. Hope I have no business having.

I spend a good hour or more stealing glances her way, relishing in the fact that, occasionally, I catch her staring back. I don’t even bother pretending I’m paying attention to the guys at my table. They’re not stupid; they know where my interest lies. Not one of them has even tried to pull me into a conversation, and I’m grateful for it.

I’ve finally worked up the balls to approach Cory when Summer arrives. I flinch as my chest tightens. I haven’t seen Summer around our group for a while. It’s safe to assume she’s here as backup. Is it really that difficult to be around me? Of course, it is. She probably would have left hours ago if it wasn’t New Year’s Eve.

I watch her for a bit longer until I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be around the loved-up couples or drunken hook-ups when midnight comes, so at eleven forty-five, I head out the back for some air. It’s eerily quiet, considering it’s such a big night. Most likely because everyone’s indoors, wrapped up in excited anticipation for what’s to come.

The door creaks behind me. Another poor soul needing to be alone on this night of celebration. I hear a sharp intake of breath, and I freeze, afraid that any sudden movement will send her running. Cory.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were out here,” she blurts out in a rush. I turn my head just as she moves to walk back inside.

“Wait!” I cry out, raising my hand in the air as though I can physically stop her. “It’s okay. There’s plenty of space for us to both get air. You don’t have to go back in.”

She flinches a little but steps outside, moving toward the railing of the small patio.

We both stare out into the moonlight in silence. To the casual observer, we’d probably look like strangers. But if you could feel the tension, if you were standing between us, you’d know that’s not the case. The air is practically zapping with electricity.

Cory sighs, breaking our quiet moment before turning to face me. “How have you been?” she asks, and those simple, every day words make my heart jump.

I angle my body to face her and mirror her stance. “Shitty,” I say honestly. “You?”

“Same,” she shrugs, like it’s no big deal. Like I’m not standing here silently begging her to take me back, willing her to see how perfect we are, breaking at the thought of her never doing either of those things.

We fall silent again as the countdown begins inside.

Ten…

I take a step closer, then another, and another, until I’m standing right beside her.When she doesn’t move away, I place my hand on the rail next to hers, making sure our pinkies briefly touch. Eyes focused on the world in front of her, she curls her finger through mine, sending an electric current shooting straight to my heart.I smile as we turn to face each other once more, but I’m met with a blank stare.

Five…

“I’m sorry,” I rasp, brushing a lock of hair away from her face.

She takes in a sharp breath and looks down at the ground before whispering her response. “I’m sorry, too, for a lot of things. But…”

Three…

Nothing has changed. She doesn’t need to say the words out loud for me to hear them and for my heart to crack.

“I’m sorry,” I say again, mimicking her whisper, this time apologizing for what I’ve done, and for what I’m about to do. Her gaze lifts to mine, and I swear I still see the love and lust in the back of her eyes, through the look she’s trying to hide behind.

One… Happy New Year!

I can’t stop myself from crashing my lips into hers and pressing her back against the railing, my hands cupping her face.

Cory stills for a moment, so I do the same, my mouth locked on hers, waiting for her to pull away.

When she opens up and sucks on my tongue, I’m at her mercy. A deep, guttural groan rips from the back of my throat as she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me into her, increasing the connection between us.