Admire Me (Rough Edges 2)
Page 59
Chapter 22
Liam
After the conversationwith Harper last night, my nervousness about her leaving me only gets worse. It’s not like I blame her, and she has every right to be cautious about being with me. I might not be a man she thought she would end up with and that’s okay. I just have to deal with it, but no matter what she decides, she will need someone in her corner and I plan on being that person whether she stays with me or not.
Some might think I’m crazy to be in love with her after such a short amount of time, but when you know, you know. When I almost lost her, twice, the sorrow my heart felt, and the thought of not having her by my side to laugh, playfight, and watch bad tv shows struck me. It helped me realize that who cares how long it’s been, the search for my partner has been long going and I finally found her. Sure, she might not remember me from before, but if given the chance, I have faith that if she gets to know me, that those feelings will emerge once again.
“Back to work today. You ready?” Harper asks.
The nightmares didn’t help with constantly dreaming of someone attacking her, but with the systems set up if anyone gets in the house all she has to do is say help me and the cops will be called without alerting whoever else is inside. She is trying to play it cool, and not show how much of a nervous wreck she is, but she doesn’t have to pretend with me. I’m the one person she can be completely honest with, and I hope she knows that.
“I’d feel better if someone was here with you, but that’s beside the point.”
We migrate to the couch, watching the morning news, and trying to ease the thought of her being alone all day. One thing to remember is there is nothing that ties us together so the chances of him finding out she’s at my house and where I live are slim. My address isn’t listed on anything of hers, and besides police files, there is nothing on social media or anything that ties us together. Shake it off, she’s going to be fine.
Over the next hour, I can feel the hesitancy beaming off her with a jump at every sound outside. “Are you sure you are going to be okay today?”
“I just feel like I need a babysitter, and that’s ridiculous to say at my age. What am I five?” She laughs at herself.
“It’s perfectly normal for someone who has gone through as many traumatic events as you have in the past few weeks. No one thinks less of you,” I say.
She looks down at the floor, and fiddles with her thumbs. “I wish you didn’t have to go to work, but life keeps going. The whole world can’t stop just because I got attacked.”
I sigh, and take her hands in mine, staring into her eyes. “I would stop my world for you, Harper. That’s how much you mean to me. Say the word, and I would.”
She takes her hands away from me, and gets up and starts pacing. “What?”
“This is what I was afraid of. What’s going to happen if I never get my memories back? Are you going to be able to love this me? Not the Harper you knew? How would that even work?”
“The fact of the matter is, I love you. The old you and the new one. I’m not going anywhere.”
She seems very confused and it’s better if I stop complicating things. Maybe we need to start over from the beginning, like it’s our first date. “I would like to take you out on a date. A real one. To get to know this version of you.”
Her eyes meet mine, almost scared. “You sure? Hell, you might not even like this me?”
“When are you going to get it through your head? I'm not going anywhere. Stop trying to push me away. If you really don’t want to be with me, then say so. Don’t tell yourself it’s because I don’t want you, because that’s the farthest thing from the truth.”
I walk away, and let her think on it, because pressuring anyone isn’t me. Hopefully, she will come to her senses and realize how much I care for her. If I was going to leave, then it would have been when she was in the hospital, or something. Not after I moved her into my house.
I get ready for work, and before I leave, I write down Tessa’s number in case she needs anything before I’m off and stick it to the fridge. My chest is getting tight because I’m not ready to leave her alone yet, but it’s not by choice. If I don’t go back to work, I’ll lose my job, my livelihood, my passion.
“Please don’t open the door for anyone, unless it’s Scott. He should be bringing the pictures.” I get close enough to kiss her, but then back away. “Sorry, habit.”
She pulls me in, and kisses me anyway. “You can kiss me, silly. I like you, too. But really, you need to get going. Don’t wanna be late on your first day back.”
A smile takes over, and I nod. This is going to be an anxiety inducing day, but we have to take that first step. We can’t always live in fear, or he wins.
“Seriously, call me or Tessa if you need anything. I’m only about fifteen minutes away,” I say, opening the door.
“Go. I’ll be fine,” she says, but not very convincingly. “Maybe I’ll hang out with Tessa and Emily today. Really should be trying to mend our friendship and get to know her more. Plus, we can work on wedding stuff, what better way to keep me occupied.”
I laugh. “Okay. See you later.”
The door closes behind me and when I’m about to get in my truck, Scott pulls in. I wonder if he has had a chance to get the files for me yet. Or maybe, he looked through them and didn’t find anything?
“I’m heading to work but she’s inside,” I say, rolling down my window as he approaches carrying a box.
“I didn’t know if Harper knew so, here. The detective said I could take a look at them today. If he knew I was letting you go through them he’d kill me, so this has to be between us.”