Chapter 5
Jeremy
The atmosphere is stuffy, and it has a lot to do with the impending conversation that is going to take place. Hazel and I would like nothing more to have him at home until he passes, but it’s becoming difficult with the frequency of his episodes. A center might be the best option for him to keep him safe. I fear he is beginning the final stages of this disease, and specialists told us that this is the most difficult to handle. The person forgets most of their life, becomes confused, and will need around the clock care. Hazel might make a shit ton of money, but that would cost almost all of her salary and we just can’t afford that. The thought of robbing a bank crosses my mind, just to keep him here with me, but it’s not feasible. If I end up in prison, what good does that do?
Hazel has been showing him pictures of Jake, and knowing that he might never get to meet his grandson is heartbreaking. This man, more than anything, has been excited to have grandchildren around, and to know that he can’t travel to meet Jake kills me. He has gotten to talk to him on the phone, and video chat once, but it’s not the same. I hope that we can get Jake out here, at least once, before he goes. It will mean the world to him.
My dad is always inquiring about the bookstore, and her pile of fresh cases. I’m not a jealous person, but sometimes, I feel like Hazel gets more attention because she doesn’t live here. My father is proud of me, and I know that, but he harps on Hazel. I get it, she’s a high profile lawyer, but still.
Aiden lets us know the bookstore is thriving and is finally in the green, and now he is phasing in book signings for local authors. He seems to think it will bring in a new set of readers which will have a good impact on his business. I never gauged him to be a business man, but he’s been doing pretty well for himself out there.
“Will Jake be coming down with you next time?” he asks.
“We are working it out with his parents, dad. Believe me, we are trying.”
His doctor doesn’t know if he is in the best condition to go such a distance. If he has one of his episodes, being in a different city poses a risk. There will be nothing to ground him, whereas in his home, he knows this place. So, making the trip out there is out of the question.
My eyes scan the feel of the room, which is uneasy, because Hazel and I know what is approaching. The walkthrough is scheduled soon and we haven’t even talked to him about it yet. She has decided to bring it up herself, and I’m not ready for this. Even as an adult, I want to shield my father from heartache.
“So, we have an appointment at Grapevine Memory Care. You might go get some jeans on.”
He looks at me, and then to Hazel. “What do you mean? I thought we weren’t going to do that?” His demeanor changes and his hand shakes. “I don’t want to live in one of those places, son.”
His eyes penetrate to my very core, and I try to hold it together, because we need to be a united front. We want to clarify that we aren’t abandoning him.
Hazel stands up, and pops a squat in front of him. “Do you remember the episode from this morning, dad?”
He shakes his head. “No – I didn’t have one.”
“But you did. We aren’t blaming you for anything. It’s not your fault, but you didn’t even recognize Jeremy. You thought Mom was still alive.”
“No – that’s ridiculous. That didn’t happen.”
He bolts out of the recliner, and shoots past us on the couch to go upstairs. When he gets up to his bedroom, the door slams behind him.
We knew this wouldn’t be easy. I want this no more than he does. "Maybe we should reconsider?”
“Jer, I know it’s hard, but the doctors think he will do better at one. He needs to be around those that specialize in this disease. We can only do so much. It’s not like we won’t visit him.”
Tears fall from my eyes, and then Hazel joins me. I never thought I’d be in this position; not with him. The man gave us so much, and now his memory of us is going to fade. Soon, he won’t remember us, and that’s going to be the most heartbreaking part. I want to cherish the moments we have left, and putting him in a home, won’t that diminish that? Will he ever forgive us for this?
“We need to get him adjusted before it gets worse. Do you know how bad things could escalate if he wakes up one morning and thinks you’re an intruder?” Hazel says. “He could shoot you, for heaven’s sakes. The doctors were clear. When his episodes began happening every day, we should look into round the clock care. We need to do what’s best for him even if he doesn’t see it that way.”
She gets up from her knees, and takes a seat on the couch next to Aiden.
“If it’s the right thing to do, then why does it feel so awful?”
She takes my hand and walks me upstairs to outside his bedroom.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Dad, let’s talk about this, please. We don’t want you mad at us. Can you open the door?”
The silence on the other side scares me so I open the door, and find him lying in bed, the blankets over his head like a child.
“I don’t want to go. This house is the only thing left of your mother.”
Hazel and I glance at each other and we crawl into the bed, slide under the covers, enveloping him a family hug. This transition is going to be rough, but it is the best thing for him right now. He needs someone with knowledge of Alzheimer’s and how to handle the episodes.