The sounds of her wailing into Aiden’s chest breaks my heart. I remember the day she left to go to Harvard. Our father was over the moon for her, and that’s one thing he was always good at, making us aware of how proud he was of our accomplishments. Before she left, Hazel always talked about paying off the house, getting him settled in, so he wouldn’t have to worry about paying bills, because he should be able to sit back and enjoy life.
“I know it’s a lot, sis. Take some more vacation and come back down. We both did our research and the last stage happens quickly, and we need to spend as much time as we can with him before he goes.”
My eyes water, just saying that out loud, and knowing that one of these days, my father will not be around anymore. He is the epitome of an amazing father, and he didn’t even have to be. He took Hazel and I in when no one else would, and made us a family. After years in the system, going from home to home, neither of us thought we would ever find a family, and the Greys proved us wrong. Everything that Hazel and I have accomplished in this life is because of his generosity.
Aiden picks up the phone. “She will be on the first flight out in the morning.”
No one can blame us for being optimistic, especially when advancements are being made for many diseases, and maybe they would have a breakthrough for Alzheimer’s. Neither of us wants to imagine a life without him in it, but today is the knife in the heart. Our father is going to die, and there’s nothing we can do about it.
I stare at the front door, knowing that he won’t be waiting for me inside, relaxing in his recliner watching action movies anymore. There will be no one to share meals with, and binge the latest show. When the center became his best option, I didn’t take into consideration how it could change him. It shouldn’t affect me like this, but it does.
One thing is for certain; I am not upset about having to take care of him, because that’s my duty. Since his diagnosis, we have become much closer, and it is nice to spend my nights with him, laughing and watching his favorite movies, or hearing stories about when he was younger. These are things I’m glad he got to share with me before the final stages. Before he forgets me.
Tracks run down my face, and it’s wet, but I have to go inside. I can’t sit in my truck forever. Of course, listening to myself, I get out and walk to the front door, hesitating to put the key in to unlock it. Maybe I should think about this a different way. When I find my person, my partner, this will be where we raise our kids. It’s an honor for my father to hand this place over to me.
I put the key in, and step inside, laying them down on the entryway table, and walking straight to the kitchen, turning lights on as I pass the switches. At night, this house is a little eerie in the dark, and for right now, I want it lit up.
I need to eat something, and my body is sending me warning signs. I haven’t eaten since yesterday, and that makes me want to go to a buffet and eat everything there. I open the refrigerator to see what we have, and there isn’t much. The cabinets hide some ramen noodles and I go for that. Quick and simple to make because I need to get some sleep. Figure out how we are going to do this with Dad and I’ve got to be strong for Hazel. She has Aiden now, but I don’t know how well he is going to do under pressure like this.
My phone buzzes, and right now I don’t want to talk to anyone, even Raquel. This day has been the worst on record and I just want it to be over. I know it’s going to hit me when I see him next, and there’s not much I can say to make the situation better, but knowing I have very limited time with him now, it makes me want to spend every waking moment with him.
Hazel is coming out on the first flight out tomorrow, and I hope I can hold it together when I see her. She is going to be a blubbering mess, and it’s my job to be a rock for her. Is Aiden coming? On one hand, I think he would never let her go through this alone, but then again, nothing would surprise me at this point. She loves him, but I just don’t know if they are end game material.
The water comes to a boil, and I put the block of noodles in the water and let it sit for three minutes. It’s not the best for you, but it’ll get something in my stomach fast, so I can close my eyes and escape to a new reality even if just for a couple of hours.