Chapter 21
Jeremy
Nothing could have prepared me for today. I long for just one last conversation with my father. I don’t know how to move on without him. Parents raise us to be independent and a person of society that they can be proud of, and I hope I became that person.
I don’t want to get out of bed, but with the funeral happening soon, I must. Am I up to hearing everyone’s condolences? No, but my father deserves to have a nice sendoff surrounded by people who loved and cared for him.
Today is going to be the hardest of them all. It’s the last time my father will be above ground, and I know people visit their loved ones, but I’ve always found that to be weird. Preference, I guess.
A knock sounds on the door, and for a minute, I forget Raquel stayed with me last night. About two in the morning, I went downstairs to get a drink, and she had fallen asleep on the couch. Many would run at a time like this, but she pushed through my walls and wanted to help me. I commend her for that.
“You up?” she asks, through the door.
I open it up and smile. “Good morning. You didn’t have to stay.”
She takes my hand and leads me down the stairs and to the kitchen table. “I made you breakfast. You’ll need energy. Eat up.”
Raquel sits down next to me, and we enjoy each other’s company while eating our meal. My eyes peer over the kitchen, and I notice that she has removed all the idle things on the counter and did the dishes. I’m not proud of how dirty the house became, but I couldn’t bring myself to do anything but lay in bed.
“You are coming today, right?”
Her fork clanks against the plate. “I wouldn’t miss it. You know I cared for your father.”
What if no one shows up to the funeral? I shouldn’t have waited to get the word out, but couldn’t bring myself to call anyone. Now I know why people have someone else doing it in the movies. It’s tougher than you think.
“I’m gonna go get dressed, and then I need to call Hazel and check on her.”
She nods. “I’ll go home and change. The babysitter should be there to watch Lily. Damon and Tessa have agreed to keep her after the funeral if you need company.”
I want to push her away and just wallow in my grief, but she is a good woman who is doing everything to make me as comfortable as possible during this difficult time. She hasn’t asked me how I’m doing, says she’s sorry, nothing. It’s refreshing since that’s all anyone has been saying since his passing. I’m sick of hearing it.
I pull my black slacks up over my waist, and then a button-down navy shirt around my shoulders. The anxiety of having to be in front of who knows how many people today is overwhelming. I’ve never been the guy to cry in public, but today might be a different story. It’s the last goodbye.
I look at the clock and it’s a quarter to noon, and I still haven’t heard from Hazel or Aiden. She must be up and moving around by now. The phone rings, but no one ever picks up. Fuck it, I’m going over to Aiden’s.
I rush downstairs, pick up my keys, and rush out to my truck, knowing we only have an hour until the funeral. Hazel can’t pull this shit today. We have to get ourselves together because people are going to be in our face all day, and we are going to need each other today more than ever.
Aiden’s truck is outside his house, so I know they are home, but when I knock nobody comes to the door. What the hell is going on? I turn the knob and it’s unlocked.
“Hazel? Aiden?” I say, announcing my presence before walking into the house itself.
I hear them in the bedroom, and it sounds like they are fighting.
“Get dressed. We are going to be late,” Aiden says.
I walk closer to the door, and he jumps a little when he sees me. “What are you doing here?”
“I knocked several times, but no one answered. Got worried.”
He nudges me into the kitchen. “Your sister won’t get dressed. I’ve tried. Your turn.”
Maybe this is hitting her heavier than me, or maybe I just haven’t begun to fully deal with his death yet, but she is going to the funeral. She is sadly mistaken if she thinks I’m going to be there by myself.
“It’s time to get your ass up and put on some clothes. They are expecting us at the church in twenty-minutes,” I say, pulling back the covers and forcing her out of bed.
She does a low growl and walks to the closet, pulling out a black dress and flats. “How are we supposed to smile and nod at people all afternoon?”
Hazel needs to remember we are doing this for our father, not us. This is what he wanted and said so in his will. We are to respect his last wishes. “We just do. You can lock yourself in the house after today, but attending is not optional.”