“You won’t lose this with me.”
Her eyes clap on mine and for that split second the fire inside them almost knocks the breath out of me.
“You can’t say that, Eli.”
“But why?”
Her gaze falls towards Finnegan before she answers. “I don’t want to have that conversation here.”
Frustration courses through me. I want answers. I want them so that I can fix whatever problem or war she is having in her head, but I understand that here is not the time nor the place, so I leave it… for now.
“Where do you want to go next?”
“I want to go to the hospital, but only to see if my mom is there. After that, I would like us to stay here and then go hiking in the morning. I think you will like this trail I know of.”
Her soft smile lights up my heart and sends my head spinning. I have no idea if she really wants to stay here, and despite all that she’s still thinking about me. And she calls herself selfish.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” I ask… just to be sure.
“Yes, I am.”
I give her hand a soft kiss before asking Finnegan to take us to the hospital, to which he dutifully obliges. In the hallway of the hospital, I lead her down towards the room she’s in, her steps getting slower the closer we get, like she senses that her body is here.
When we reach the door, she gingerly peeks into the window and when she spots herself on the bed and then her mom by her side, holding her hand, she cups her hand over her mouth to suppress a sob.
My arms instinctively reach out to hold her, give her the comfort she needs. I fix my eyes to her, about to ask her if we should leave, but then she takes her hand away, nodding her head.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I wanted this. I just needed to see my mom one last time, just in case. I know I can’t say goodbye, but this is enough.”
I wish she would stop talking like that. She’s going to live.
She has to.
Delving into her bag, she grabs a pocketbook and pen. She scribbles something down quickly before carefully placing the note under the door. She glances back into the room one last time and takes a deep breath.
“I’m ready to go now.”
She smiles through her tears, offering me her hand as we make our way out of the hospital and towards the hotel we’re staying at, all the while wondering what it was she wrote down in her note, what it is she’s thinking, and whether she’s okay.
Once checked in, we get to our adjoining rooms and I watch as Audrey glances around at the decor, a slight wince in her features.
“This room is so beautiful and yet, all I can picture doing in here is vomiting in the toilet. Never do I ever want to feel like that again. Yuck.”
I laugh at her joke, noting that she seems to have brightened up somewhat. I’m still curious, though. I still want to make sure she’s in a good place given everything today.
“That can’t have been easy… waking up in a strange place not knowing who you are or what’s going on.”
She suddenly laughs. “Oh, yeah, and when you walked in shouting at me, I was like, ‘Oh my God, why is Eli Prescott in my room, shouting at me?’”
The joke makes me wince. “I had never meant to…”
She places her hand up to stop me. “How on earth were you to know that I wasn’t your actual wife?” The smile in her voice stops when she says that.
“What is it?” I ask.
She takes a seat on the bed next to me and sighs. “I have never in my life been that girl.”
“What girl?” I ask, confusion filling me.